Take a closer look at those jocks!

Ah, youth! Ah, urbanness! The combination of the two is intoxicating, eh?

Well it is for some of us. If you are one of the few, the proud, the "not too proud to pay for it" crowd, then this page is for you. Yes, this is the page where we ask you to pay a small subscription fee to see big pictures of the University of Michigan jocks (and a few jockettes, believe it or not) running naked through the streets of Ann Arbor in their annual rite of spring, the University of Michigan Naked Mile.

We've got nearly a hundred photos to show you from 1998, and we've divided them into five groups:

• Group 1: Race overview, featuring photos with no pen ises in them. (FREE)
• Group 2: Preparing to run, and the first bit of the run.
• Group 3: The "cube" at the end of the race, and the last part of the run.
• Group 4: Indoors at the law library, and the mid-run. I believe that the law library photos are Pen is Central Exclusives, since most of the sleazy video photographers don't run the run and don't strip bareass naked like I did, so they were not permitted to enter the library. Serves them right!! I may be wrong, but I believe that you will not encounter photos of this part anywhere else on the net. Only the few, the proud, the truly naked, and maybe not even the Marines can take you indoors and show you what went on there!
• Group 5: Women. Photos from all parts of the race which clearly show breasts or female crotches are clustered together into this set. (3/4 of them have a pen is in them, too.) Yes, audience surveys suggest that about a dozen straight guys come to Pen is Central by accident (due to their low IQ or something like that),* as well as an occasional lesbian (displaying her open-mindedness and good taste). Plus, bisexuality is far more common in our society than you might suspect. So I decided to include a few shots to please these two demanding audiences. Remember, lesbians and straight men are people too! They have dimes. They can spend them! They look just like everybody else's dimes!!
  • *Note to the humor impaired: This is a joke. Maybe not very funny, but... it's a joke.

Each group can be viewed for free in small (thumbnail) size. To view in large size, you must be a member (except group 1, which is free).

We also ran nude in this race in 1999. We're working on those photos and hope to have them up by the end of June. In the meantime, you can see samples and read interviews here.

In the chart below, click on any photo. You will be taken to a page where you can see small copies of other photos in the same category. Then you can move on to large versions of the same photos (if you're a subscriber).

Thank you for your contribution, thank you! God bless you! God bless America! Thank God we live in a free country, where students, jocks, admirers, and dirty old men like me can join together in a common struggle, freeing ourselves of the bondage of clothing and societal inhibition. You are truly, truly wonderful!!

Unless, of course, you are one of the homophobic assholes who tried to assault photographers, including myself, who were taking pictures of people with pen ises such as yourself. Details here. Get over your fears, man! Get over yourself! Grow up a little! You enjoyed looking at the women who ran naked; why get upset about someone enjoying you? Peace, dude -- I came in peace! I meant you no harm! Kindly return the favor.

Special Bonus Photo

Is this the same guy who marched nude in the 1997 Toronto Gay Pride Parade?
The thin, furry "otter"?

Check out the photos of that march (scroll down to photo #6) and decide for yourself.

If so, does that mean he's on the same Extremely Naked Sports Tour as I am??
Scary, dude! But welcome to the Tour!!

(1999 note: Yes, it is. I had no idea he'd travel to be nude in public, too!)

Other "Naked Mile" pages on this site (mostly essays):

• Rant and rave against sleazy photographers wearing clothes.

• Punched in the chin by a homophobe; assaults on cameras.

• Do you appear nude on these pages? Get your share of the profits!

• Our 1999 photos of this event are in preparation. Read the interviews!

Another "Naked Mile" site you might like:

• Michigan Live's 'Naked Mile' site -- 27 photos, one per page. Photo 27 is of me -- scary!!

  However, all pen ises are censored on that site.

Why do I deserve to earn money from this?

• Because I spent hundreds of dollars to fly to Michigan, stay in a motel, rent a car, and develop film. Two years in a row!
• Because I spent hours and hours getting these photos ready for you, the pen is-consuming public.
• Because it's reasonable and cheap! The price here is many times less expensive than the prices charged for videos of the event made by guys who did not strip bareass naked nor run more than a couple of feet (!!) during this event, whereas I trained for weeks to be able to run a mile (hey, I'm not young any more, OK?), and I put MY pen is nudely and visibly on the line just like every other nude runner did. It takes some guts and determination to do what I did, and hundreds of U of M students did, and it pisses us off that clothed, sleazy guys go there just to rip off the event without truly participating in it (even though what they did was probably legal). Moreover... boy this is getting long. Maybe I'd better put my rant and rave into a separate document.
• Let me apologize in advance for this shamelessly commercial arrangement. In a perfect world, we would all be able to go to the store naked, run naked through the streets, go to classes naked, study in the Law Library naked, run around the track naked, and visit the Dean's office naked. For free. But that's not the world we live in. Everyone wants his cut, so we'll just have to accept that as a fact of life and move on.
• If you appear nude in these photos and would like a share of the profits, go here.

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