University of California at Berkeley

                         Application for Admission

 		(circle)
Last Name------ Chan, Chang, Chen, Cheng, Cho, Chou, CHong, Chu, Chung,  
	Chyu, Hsu, Kuo, Lee, Li, Lin, Ma, Ong, Sheh, Shih, Shu, Ung, 
	Wang, Weng, Wong, Wu, Yang, Ying, Yu, Other__________          
      
        _________________________________________________
            First           Middle          Suffix
 
DUe to the fact that our classes are so large, we need for you to 
	give the number you would like to be called.
     
 	(1 to 40,000)_______________	
 
 
Son or Daughter's Name_______________ 

Home Address_____________________________________________________________


Height____________Weight_____________Bust (if applicable)________________

Bench Press_____________Hair Color_______________________________

Nationality________ SEX M / F / Both / Undecided
 
     (If asian male, you are finished with this application, you have been 
     admitted to our Electrical Engineering Computer Science School.)
 
Major Field of Study
	
	1st choice___________

	2nd_________________

	3rd_________________

	4th_________________

	5th_________________

	6th_________________

	7th_________________

	8th_________________

	9th__________________

	10th_________________

	11th_________________

	12th_________________

If 12th is full, you may be admitted undeclared with two choices of  
	majors in your 7th year at this university.

 	1. Pig Latin
 	2. Underwater basket Weaving

Which of the following body types is nearest to yours (Circle one)

       mesomorph               ectomorph               endomorph
(Please ask your professor (if you can reach him before the application 
	deadline) if you don't know what these words mean.)

SAT SCORE_______ 
 
basketball Player SAT SCORE (please add 400 points to your score)______

Are You A Basketball Player?________If "YES," Please Skip To The Last 
	Line Of This Application.
 	
Grade Point Average _________ (please include honors courses because 
                               we want to accept everybody.)
Toyota Type:

Year_________Model________________Accesories______________________

Have You Read A Book This Year?_____________If "YES," Why?______________

Name Five Of The United States (for instance: California, New York,Illinois,
Texas, Florida):_______________________________________________________

What Is Your Favorite Prime Time Sit-Com?_______________________________

Which Gossip Magazines Do You Read (or more acurrately, look at the  
	pictures.) Regularly?___________________________ 

What type of housing do you prefer?
	Naked	Topless		Clothed

What type of classes do you prefer?
        Naked	Topless		Clothed

Do you belong to the Andrew Martinez nudist clan?
 
Have you every had a car other than Toyota? (If yes, we offer no 
parking spaces, therefore we give you the privelage to park in beautiful 
downtown Berkeley)

                                     -2-
                              Essay Questions

(Answer all 10 essay questions; Use 8.5x20 Kilometers paper)


1)  Have you ever spoken with a black person?  Describe the Experience.

2)  Have you ever been in a major protest in which you were arrested? 
	Explain the experience.

3)  Have you ever been away from home? Excluding dental and medical 
	visits. 

4)  Have you ever been taught by someone who knows less than you do?
	(this question is extremely important due to the fact that the 
	professors at this univerisity don't teach jack shit.)


If you make it this far call in for questions 5-10. Please prepare to 
	wait due to the fact that you phone system keeps on breaking down.
	(Budget cuts you know.)


Because of recent budget cuts by those assholes in Sacremento, you are 
	now required to pay the following fees.

 	application $500
 	hunting/parking 1000
 	life preservation 2000
 	computer (analog cuz we can't afford digital) 500
 	right to the CAL name 18000
 	right to see our ta's 1000
	right to talk to our ta's 2000
 	right to talk more than 5 sec. 4000
 	right to see our professors 10000
 	right to talk to our professors 20000 (Grad students only)
 	right to be naked 5000
 	
Class size preference and their respective fees:
 
 	200	400	800	1600	3200	6400	12800
	$12800  $6400	$3200	$1600	$800	$400	$200
 
Binocular Fee

 	Buchnell	Telex	Tasco	Canon	Fuji	Pentax	Nikon
 	$50		$200	$500	$1000	$2000	$5000  $.25 Grads only  		 > 

______________________________________________________________________________
 
	UC TA application Form

Are you indian? yes	No

Did you formerly own a 7-Eleven? Yes	No

What class do you want to TA for?

Experience time?	5 sec.		Free
 			10 min.		$1.00
 			1 day		$50
 			2 weeks		$200
 			4 months	$400
			1 year		Grad students only

**************The Fee For Processing This Application Is Negotiable*********

If you can, please make you high school counselor send along a high 
	school transcript (your grades) (make sure they are brought in an 
	armored vehicle and are steel stamped.)

I swear that the information presented in this application is reasonably
	accurate.

___________________________________________________________________________
	Signature  (that's the messy version of your printed name)

___________________________________________________________________________
	Approximate Date