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Surveillance cameras eventually showed that there were two culprits! |
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I don't know who this guy is, but he's got a hairy chest and a round belly. He looks like one of those really sick perverts I've seen on TV. |
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This fellow was caught in the act, but he escaped because everyone was looking at his dick and not his face. Once he put his clothes back on, no one could ID him. As he was running away someone shouted "Elephant man!" at him, but he bears no resemblance to the person described in the feature documentary of the same name. Must have meant someone else. The second photo is the same as the first, but electronically lightened so you can see his defining physical characteristics. His dick -- which could molest you just by looking at it from 30 paces -- has been photographed and will be circulated to Post Offices around the country soon. |
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