Jim's Almost Naked Europe 1996

This business card passed HM Royal Customs inspectors with no problems. Yet another rule bent just because the guy is a great artist! Mr. Varekamp does delightful male and female nudes, putting them on postcards, t-shirts, paper, pottery, and sculpture. Next time you're in Amsterdam visit his shop at Hartenstraat 30 and tell him the crazy guy from California sent you.

The first Varekamp I ever bought, on a t-shirt at a gay bookstore in New York.

Another Varekamp t-shirt that met with the approval of British Customs. Remember, he does female nudes, too (see business card for an example of the style).

This item triggered me a whole mess of questions. I had a bunch of newspaper clippings in my briefcase consisting of WWW addresses to sites I hadn't visited yet. HM Customs Agent WhatsHisName picked out this one for special scrutiny. He asked me what it was. He asked me what was on the site. ("Why, it's the Virtual Bubble Wrap Online Palace site, sir.") He asked me what he would see if he were to check the site out himself. He let the matter drop, then returned to it later, asking most of the same questions again. Was there any secret to the site--a special button to click which would take me elsewhere?? Of course not--but you'll have to trust me on this. As of January 1998, the site is no longer available.

This greeting card is freely available throughout the US and Europe. I call it "Bringing home the bacon." And now, through the selfless public service I exemplify right here on the Internet, you know that you can bring it home, too--even if you live in London!

This is a cartoon from the New Yorker magazine. As you can see, it would instantly arouse the suspicion of any red-blooded, well-trained Customs inspector anywhere in the civilized world--because it's a cartoon of little girls, of course. But it passed (whew!).

What does a bear do in the woods? Why, he takes his clothes off, of course! This is me, at the border of an official naturist section of a public park in the Netherlands.

Yet another greeting card freely available throughout the US and Europe. This handsome lad is obviously welcoming us to his country, and is very glad to see us, to boot!