Dick of the week:

Ron

Week 23

'Ron' is his real name. There's no point in coming up with a fake one, because everyone already knows Ron! He's the kind of guy who is so active -- so hyper -- that he goes everywhere, does everything, and soon everyone knows who he is. You can't avoid it!

At least, that's the way it was the first Gathering I met him at. I was surprised that he didn't collapse from exhaustion by the end of the week. He's calmed down a bit since then, but still... everybody knows Ron.

And soon, you will, too. Read on!

PS: Everyone knows his e-mail address, too -- so I might as well repeat it here (Ron deserves no less): TotoRon@aol.com.

Let me begin with the first Dick of the Week question, which is: So just how big IS your dick, anyway?

Six and a half inches.

How big around?

I don't know!

Well when you jerk off, can you get your hand around it?

Yes.

When you're holding it with one hand, does your thumb touch your index finger?

Yes.

How much overlap?

None

Do you lose partners who think that you're too big for them?

No.

Which do you prefer: a big dick or a small dick?

Small.

Why?

More handleable -- easier to handle [laughs]. Manageable. Controllable.

What's the biggest dick you've ever had sex with?

Bigger than my forearm, from my wrist to my elbow. [9 inches] It was pretty big. It was scary.

Tell me about him.

It was too thick for me to get my hand around it, thumb to middle finger.

Where did you meet him?

I met him through a newspaper ad. He owned a stamp collection store in [my home town].

The smallest?

Oh, we'll have to say 3 inches.

Tell me about him.

The dick was totally fine, but the person suffered from low self-esteem, was extremely self-conscious about it, had pre-condemned himself to being totally inferior. He just declared that he was useless, through his own self-consciousness, not through any fault or doing of mine.

How did you meet him?

Newspaper ad.

Which is easier to keep hard -- a big dick or a small dick?

A small one. More controllable. Handleable.

What's your favorite way of USING your dick?

With my hand -- jacking off.

How do you hold your dick when you jack off?

With my right hand. [He shows me, and I photograph it.]

From time to time do guys come on to you just because of the size of your dick?

Yes. But they have to be very horny. [He laughs.] The hornier they are, the more they'll come on to it.

Do you get the impression that they come on to you because of the size of your dick?

No.

How often do you get the impression that someone is interested in you ONLY because of the size of your dick?

When any port in the storm will do!

Do you think that your dick is bigger than most other guys'?

No. Average.

What's the most annoying way someone comes on to you -- like in a bar or at a party?

"Wanna get fucked?"

Does your answer mean you DON'T want to get fucked?

Correct.

Do you like to use your dick to fuck guys?

No.

From looking at you I'd say that you are cut, right?

Yes. Although my mother was Jewish, she couldn't afford the total cut, so she had to have the cut at 10 percent discount. [He waits for me to realize this is a joke, then laughs -- I'm a bit on the slow side when it comes to humor today. He demonstrates how he can make it look uncut, and I take another photo.]

Which do you prefer in other men? Why?

Cut. It's cleaner.

What makes a dick pretty, or good-looking?

No wrinkles. The less the better.

Are you implying that you like 'em young?

Yes, sure. [Doesn't sound to me as if he really means it.]

What's your favorite age?

28.

And you are?

41.

Do you think you have a pretty dick?

Average.

Do you think your boyfriend's dick is pretty?

Yes.

What makes his pretty?

Its small size.

How big is his?

5 and a half inches.

What does your boyfriend like about yours?

It's always loaded! Actually, that's what he dislikes about it.

So what does he LIKE?

It's always loaded, playful, and ready to shoot.

And he dislikes that, also?

Yes. (Because?) It makes me too playful with too many other guys, or it makes too much work for him.

So he has a lower sex drive?

Yes.

Is your boyfriend cut or uncut?

Cut.

Is your father cut or uncut?

Cut.

Because he's Jewish also?

Yes.

Does your father have a big dick?

Average.

How big?

I don't know. When I saw it I was very small, so it looked larger.

So you do NOT come from a nudist family.

No.

Have you ever danced naked?

Not well, but I've done it!

What does your dick do when you dance naked?

It bobs up and down.

When you're dancing naked, do you think about how moving your body will move your dick?

Not usually.

Do you do anything on purpose because of the way it's going to cause your dick to swing?

Only at disco at the Gathering. Not at the square dancing.

What do you like the most about your dick?

It makes me feel good. It's my toy.

How does it do that?

When it receives friction. [He smiles as he invents a new word.] By being frictionized!

What do you like the most about having a dick?

It makes standing up and peeing outside easy.

Is that REALLY the thing you like the most??

It's the point of execution for the ultimate feeling -- orgasm.

What do you like the least about your dick?

When it's hot and sweaty outside it just adds to hot and sweatiness.

You mean it sticks and stuff?

Yes.

What do you like the least about having a dick?

When it's hard, it's hard to conceal -- in the straight world.

You don't mind letting gay guys know you have a hardon?

No.

Tell me about a time you got hard and had trouble concealing it.

I was a small child at home. My mother wanted me to dress up to go out. I said, referring to my dick, it's too big to get into a pair of pants. They won't fit. [Laughs.] I thought it was rather amusing, and she was not exactly humored by my humor.

You were very upfront and direct about it?

Yes, at that time. The fallacy with that scene was that I never associated the hardness with the good feeling. It just was too big and I couldn't get dressed to go out because I couldn't get my pants on.

Tell me about a more recent incident.

None comes to mind.

So the last time you had that problem...?

Was a long, long time ago.

Has your dick ever gotten you in trouble?

No. But almost. Once I had to go to the bathroom, so I stopped by the side of the road to go to the bathroom, and one of the passersby was not exactly amused seeing my pen is.

[I sense that there is more to this story; he's withholding the identity of the person for a reason.] Fill in the details.

It was a policeman! [He laughs.] I explained to him he was totally right, except for the extenuating circumstances of an emergency and my total unfamiliarity with the area.

What area was it?

A park in [his home state]. He seemed to think there were public restrooms in the park I could have used, but I couldn't find any. He bought my story and let me go without incident.

And in fact peeing was all that you were doing?

Yes.

What do you think about the gay male obsession with big dicks?

I think they're all crazy.

How come?

It's not the size, it's the hardness. The harder and more compact, the better, but size in and of itself doesn't do the trick.

You mentioned the fellow with the 3-inch dick and the low self-esteem. Tell me more about him.

Just a trick.

How did you know he had low self-esteem?

He didn't think very highly of himself. He kept explaining his inadequacies.

Meaning?

Because of his small dick I would be disappointed.

When?

In person, when we met.

But you didn't think he was inadequate?

No, it was totally fine.

Sexually, what did you do with him?

Jacked off.

Any special circumstances?

In his house, no.

When did you realize that your dick likes to be free, out in the open?

When the dry air gushes or rushes by it.

And when did that happen?

Let's say 1991. At my first gay and naked outdoor experience, which was BANG (Boston Area Naturist Group) in Provincetown.

What happened?

It just felt good to be outdoors and to feel the wind and the air flowing by it.

Did it get hard?

No.

A lot of novices are worried they'll get hard at a naked event.

They're on an egotistical fantasy trip thinking that they'll be hard and the center of attention. It's a fond and pleasurable thought, but anything but the truth. The truth of the matter is, not to burst their bubbles, they won't be able to get hard to save their lives until they're stuck where the sun doesn't shine.

You mean they're dead?

No, they're stuck in a dark bedroom during the playtime.

When was the next time your dick got you naked?

Christmas party, 1991.

Back at home?

Central [state] Rawhides.

Another party?

Yes.

When you were a kid, did you get naked?

No.

Were you impish as a kid? [He seems impish to me as a grown-up.]

No. I've lightened up considerably as I have aged. As a child I was always very VERY serious. I behaved like an adult.

That's really interesting. I wouldn't have guessed.

But as I've matured or aged, or gotten older, or farther on my way to geezerhood [he laughs], I have loosened up and enjoyed life! I have come to see the light and I have one life to live so I might as well be happy. What is happiness? Happiness is a state of mind. It's how you THINK you feel.

You seem to have given this some thought.

You have but one life to live so you might as well be happy. No deposit, no return, no warranty. You are what you are until you can shout it out your life is a sham. Forgive me for plagiarism [he laughs]. [Using the tune of the song he's quoting, he sings:] I am what I am!

Anything else you want to say about dicks in general or your dick in particular?

It's just the point of execution. The primary turn-on is the beauty of the entire male body as a whole, especially the upper body: arms and pecs.

You like muscles?

YES!

Strange -- the gym doesn't have a machine for making your dick bigger!

[He thinks for a moment on how to expand the joke.] The tubular extractor! [Pause] I'm only kidding -- there is no such machine.

Did you come up with that name just now?

No.

How long ago?

It's been around awhile.

Well, thank you very much! [He laughs.]

Let me see Ron's photos.

Go back to the Dick of the Week page.