I met Marko square dancing in Palm Springs. It took me awhile to realize that he and I might be a bit attracted to each other -- he dances at a level much more advanced than me, so we typically danced in different squares. But on the last day, when all the locals with no planes to catch were trying to decide whether to go home or hang around a bit more, I struck up a conversation. Marko showed an immediate interest in being a Dick of the Week. Bingo, I brought out the laptop, did the interview -- and then we spent what seemed like an hour just hugging and hopping around together in the pool, getting and losing our erections with no direct touching and (can you believe it?!?) no "sex".
The extremely strict Pen is Central Code of Pen ile Journalistic Ethics requires me to report that I found Marko very sexy, and it requires me to photograph any erections I happen to have while I'm interviewing someone. During this interview I did indeed get what we professional pen is-reporters term "a raging hard-on," which I accordingly asked Marko to document by photographing me with my camera. Let the record show that I did not touch myself or play with myself in any way to produce this raging hard-on (which would have been a serious ethical violation -- see code).
However, the rage of the hard-on had dissipated to a great extent between the noticing of the ragingness, the standing up, the brief lesson in camera technology for Marko, and the actual photograph. In fact, I am much bigger when I am hard than the photo seems to show. (Please remember that -- please!)
Documentation of my pen is's degree of ragiosity is included below, and on Marko's photo page.
Let me start with the standard "Dick of the Week" question, namely, just how big is it, anyway?
I have no idea.
I've never measured it, or wanted to.
The idea of it is much more important than the reality [he laughs] -- don't put that -- that's terrible! Don't put that!
OK -- what would you rather say?
I don't know. I never thought it was important.
So if you don't know the length, how would you describe your dick?
It's a grower, not a shower, and the shaft is bar-shaped and fatter than the head.
And when you jerk off, is it a one-hander or a two-hander?
It's a one-hander.
And how thick is it?
[He laughs.] I'm told that it's thicker than average.
So when you wrap your fingers around it, do the fingers overlap or touch?
Comfortably. Easily. [He smiles.]
Do you get compliments on your dick?
I do. Frequently. Lots of people see it.
When it's soft or hard?
When it's hard. I enjoy exhibiting it.
Cool! What's you're favorite way of exhibiting it?
By being naked in a room of clothed friends and strangers.
Tell me about the last time you did that.
Hmmmm... I'll have to think about that. [He thinks a long time.] I've done it a few times, but I have trouble remembering the specific times. They tend to blur in my mind, because I'm usually very aroused when it happens, and I remember the feelings but not the situations.
Is there one that you CAN remember?
Yes. I was at a square dance once with -- actually this happened almost weekly over a period of 2 years -- I would square dance with a group of men and I'd be the only one who would take his clothes off.
Was this the [group in your home town]?
So let me get the picture here. Every week the gay men's square dance group has its weekly dance, and they'd all have their clothes on, and you'd be naked?
[He nods.] I would start out clothed, and with each spasm of dancing I would take off an article of clothing until I had just some fantasy clothing or torn underwear on. And then I would end up taking that off while dancing with someone.
[I notice at this point that Marko has been playing gently with his dick for some time, just casually, almost as if he didn't notice himself doing it. I hold up the camera to take a photo.] Don't move a muscle -- you're the first Dick of the Week to play with himself during the interview, so we have to make sure that the Penis Central fans get the picture here!
So playing with yourself just now was your idea?
Absolutely! [He smiles; I take another photo.]
What put the idea of dancing naked into your head?
The room was heterosexual during the summer and I kept pushing the limit week after week, and in the fall I found out that many of the men wanted me to push the limit and take the extra step, but were afraid to say so.
So what happened the first time you went all the way?
[He covers face and neck with his hand.] I did it while moving around in the dance, and everybody had to keep dancing, so they had to try to ignore it, and a few people didn't know how to react, but in the end everybody enjoyed it all too. I always get erections when I take my clothes off, and other men are disarmed and made comfortable when you share your erection with them in a non-threatening manner. It's a great way to socialize with friends.
Naked with an erection.
I want to take a photo of the reaction you're bringing out in me!
[We do. My dick is quite hard, but it goes down quite a bit before the photo is actually snapped. My hands had been on the keyboard the whole time.]
At Pen is Central, we believe it is our duty as reporters to show the effects of an interview on the interviewer and the interviewee -- especially the genital effects. This is a fundamental ethical principle of journalism so often overlooked by mainstream media and their body-shamed reporters and flunkies!
So how often, approximately, have you done this?
Dozens of times.
Have you been naked with other guys clothed in other situations, or just square dancing?
All the way naked? Just square dancing
But not all the way some other times?
Tell me about one of those.
I've gone out in pubic wearing white underwear, where it was mainly gay men, and I've gone to gay businesses wearing overall shorts that are loose and unbuttoned.
And what happened?
People in those situations who don't know me don't know how to react. People who know me react very positively.
Typically, would you be hard when you'd do this?
No -- or hard for a short time.
So no one ever stripped you the rest of the way?
No. In those situations people are slightly intimidated and are afraid to do anything other than acknowledge the situation.
What would you LIKE them to do?
I'd like them to ask me to please remove my clothing.
And if they did, would you?
And then I would spend tons of time in the street and socialize with the other customers!
I would make a mad dash to the car naked...
I'd drive home naked, and walk from my driveway to my house naked.
I would spend the rest of my life naked [he laughs]!
So have you done any of those extra things?
I've done all of those extra things and I've gone hiking naked. I used to run on the beach naked every night, and I'm usually naked at home and in my back yard.
And where you live it's warm enough to do that, right?
So have you ever gotten into trouble by being naked?
I was driving naked once, and was pulled over by a policeman for speeding. I got excited and wasn't paying attention to my speedometer. This was in a small town speed trap in west Texas [he laughs repeatedly].
So what distracted you?
My erection [he laughs]!
Were you jerking off?
Did you come before the cop pulled you over?
Did you have a hardon when he came up next to the window?
When I pulled over I quickly pulled on some shorts to cover the erection while he was walking up to the car.
And then what happened?
He gave me a ticket and looked at me funny and told me to be more careful in the future! [He laughs.]
Do you think he knew what was up?
Yes. He absolutely knew what was up.
He got to my window just as I was pulling my shorts on, and he used his West Texas Church of Christ kind of reproach when he was telling me to be more careful.
How much was the ticket?
[He laughs.] It WAS, in retrospect. That was about 20 years ago.
Any other times you've gotten in trouble?
No. I've had tons of positive interactions with people I've met when I was naked.
So what's an example of a good interaction?
I met a man while I was running on the beach, and he invited me -- oh, he had broken his key off in his car door lock, and he needed a ride to get another key, and so I told him that I'd give him a ride. We drove to his house and when we got on the Interstate, I had put my clothes on to drive back, but when we got on the Interstate I took my clothes off and had him hold the steering wheel, and he never mentioned that I was naked. Then we went into his house and I learned about his family and his neighbors and got to know him.
When he was steering, what were you doing?
I was unlacing my shoes, pulling my socks off, pulling my t-shirt over my head, and pulling my shorts down.
You weren't jerking off?
No. I had a good erection without jerking off.
But you got dressed before you went into his house?
I put on a pair of shorts to walk in his house. He asked me to.
[He laughs.] When I got in his house, I immediately stood on some furniture and took my shorts off.
He liked that?
Tell me why you think he liked that.
He was flattered that I felt comfortable enough around him to do that.
How old were you when you first realized you liked being naked?
Tell me how.
I grew up on a farm, and I would take my clothes off when other people weren't around. I would go out and lay in the grain trucks -- which had wooden floors in them which were weathered with the grain of the wood -- weathered so that it was extremely smooth textured. I would lay on my stomach with my erection pressed against the grain of the would in the hot sun, but the wood was hot, too. I would take my clothes off while I was driving the tractor, and the land was very flat and you could see for many miles in every direction, and so it felt good to be naked in such an exposed situation.
So the wood that you pressed your erection against was basically an open cab?
It was a truck bed.
What gave you the idea that it would feel good to have your dick against something warm or hot?
I had no idea that it would feel that good. I was just curious.
But you liked that feeling?
Yes. [He smiles.]
Has anyone ever told you that you have a wonderful smile?
I thought so!
I must say, you have "sweet little boy" down pat!
[Misunderstanding for a moment] Huh? [Then he understands me and laughs a lot.]
Do you feel like a little boy when you're naked?
Yes. Taking your clothes off is something that a child does, but not an adult. My sisters tell me that when I was a very small child I was continually taking my clothes off in front of other people. I don't remember that. And by exposing your body to other people you make yourself vulnerable in a way, and then other people take on a protective attitude toward you as if you were a child or a younger brother.
Can I guess that you're attracted to older men?
I'm attracted to... yes. I'm attracted to everyone, but I do tend to be attracted to older men or to men older than I am.
And how old ARE you?
Wow! I never would have guessed!
A lot of feminists would say that when one person is naked and another is clothed, the naked one is powerless, or in an inferior power position. Do you agree?
Because people are disarmed by your nakedness and so the naked person can call the shots.
So give me an example of you calling the shots.
When square dancing in a group of clothed men, I draw a lot of attention to myself by being naked. By diffusing all of the attention away I can draw any positive attention towards me.
I'm not sure I understand about the diffusing.
When people are fascinated by someone who takes their clothes off in front of them, they give that person a lot of space, even though all of their attention is drawn to that person. If you are that person, you can use body language to deflect attention when it becomes uncomfortable, and because so much attention is focused on you, and because you appear vulnerable by your nakedness, your body language carries more power than it would otherwise, and people respect your vulnerability.
Do you think it would be the same for a naked woman?
[He sits back and folds his arms.] If she [thoughtfully] if she ... yes, I think that it COULD be the same for a naked woman.
In those square dances, do you then jerk off in front of them?
Because the orgasm is too powerful to be easily shared with a large group who aren't as sexually aroused.
How do you know they're not aroused?
They're aroused, but they're too repressed to express it in front of a large group.
So how does it feel to be naked when everyone else is naked?
It's basically an even playing field -- a level paying field, and social nudity is a leveling experience between people.
How often have you been to an all-nude event like this one?
Besides a local nude club which meets monthly -- six times.
Which do you prefer: naked with others clothed or everyone naked?
Naked with others clothed is more exciting. But with others nude is more relaxing.
So this weekend you relaxed [because we were all naked]?
When is the next time you'll be naked?
Probably next week at the nude club.
So now back to dicks. What's the biggest dick you've ever had sex with?
Probably someone I dated for a year. No -- it was someone else -- a friend of mine.
How big was he?
He was 10 inches.
And what's the smallest dick you've ever had sex with?
About 4 inches.
Which did you prefer?
Of those two, the 4 inches.
Because I connected with the personality more.
[Then "Dick of the Week" Aaron walks in. He's wearing blue jeans because he's about to go home -- it's the last day. But his hairy chest and beard are fully available for inspection. Marko shows an immediate attraction.]
So what do you like about Aaron?
[Editor's note: And that is NOT an understatement!]
Which is easier to keep hard -- a small dick or a big dick?
I don't know. I don't know how to answer. Keeping it hard isn't important.
What IS important?
Connecting with somebody's personality.
So what attracts you about someone's personality?
The weakness and shyness and insecurities that everyone shares.
But you think Aaron is sexy... so what's his shyness and insecurity?
I don't know! I don't know him that well.
Which do you prefer: cut or uncut?
Because of the lubrication and some of the cock cheese.
Have you ever had an orgasm while you're actually driving and in control of a moving car?
Yes. It's hard to drive straight when you're wiping the steering wheel off! [He laughs.]
Indeed! I've done that once. How many times have you?
Why so few? I would have guessed more.
Because it's hard to get dressed and undressed while you're driving alone.
Do you have any advice to guys who want to do this safely?
Probably... don't do it!
What do YOU do to make it safer?
I wear just shorts that come on and off easily, and I don't do it in traffic.
I'd do it driving kind of slow.
That's true, too! [He laughs.]
I see that you've shaved around your dick. How come?
I go to a gay gym, and people ... it's a pretty randy gym, and sometimes a fair amount of sexual activity can take place, and by exposing your dick the message of an erection is seen more easily.
Have you ever shaved your whole body?
[I tell the story about a fellow who likes being naked because it makes him feel powerless and thus submissive, and who likes shaving his body because it makes him feel even more naked.]
Does that make sense to you?
I guess so.
But it doesn't sound as if you would endorse that.
Not for me.
But you DO shave your head.
It's practical, it's masculine -- I think shaved heads, bald heads are sexy -- and it sends a social statement.
What's the statement?
That I'm gay and sexual and proud of it.
And the goatee?
Anything else you'd like to add about your dick?
[He smiles.] Just thank God for my dick!
What do you mean?
I am continually grateful for the gifts that my dick gives me that make an average person feel unique.
What do you like most about your dick?
Because they're intense experiences that are as valuable when shared with other people as they are when experienced alone.
And what do you dislike the most about your dick?
[He thinks.] I don't know what I dislike the most. I would prefer it to be uncut, and the skin on my dick is very thin, and so frequently other people need to be directed to be gentle.
What kind of work do you do?
I'm a physician.
I was going to ask if you ever thought about going to work naked. Do you work for yourself or in a hospital?
In a hospital.
No need to say more! Thank you very much!
Oh, thank YOU!
Go back to the Dick of the Week page.