Dick of the week:

Jim's a unique guy. He's been a nudist for about ten years -- and I've been lucky enough to know him for all ten. He also turned out to be very easy to schedule an interview with. Cheerful, spontaneous, intriguing -- all those are things that make Jim Jim! I think you'll enjoy finding out more about him.

So let me begin with the standard Dick of the Week question: just how big IS your dick, anyway?

Not big enough! Or just big enough -- depending on your point of view. It's 5 and a half inches long when it's hard. When soft, it's shorter -- and it's shrinking every day.

Shrinking?

Yeah. I hear it happens to old men like me. When I was younger, my soft dick was about 2 or 3 inches long, and it hung down a nice amount -- long enough to make it clear I actually had a dick, unlike the way it's looked recently. In the past couple of years, I've noticed that although my hard dick is just as long as it ever was, when it's soft it seems to be withdrawing into itself. When I dance naked, I can't flip it back and forth like I used to.

How big around?

Hmmm.... haven't measured recently. It's a bit more than 1 inch thick, so multiplying by pi, I'd get 6.283 inches.

Pi?

Sorry, I was a math major in college. Oh, wait -- gotta divide by two. Make that a bit over 3.1415 inches.

So when you jerk off, can you get your hand around it?

Oh yeah.

When you're holding it with one hand, does your thumb touch your index finger?

Yup.

How much overlap?

About the length of the first digit on my thumb -- a little less, actually.

So do you lose partners who think that you're too big for them?

Of course not! Sometimes I attract them because they see my dick and they know I won't rip them to shreds when I fuck them.

Which do you prefer: a big dick or a small dick?

Well, if I were constructing my perfect "boy" he'd have a big dick.

Why?

I'm very visually oriented, and a big dick seems more impressive to my hard-on-creating circuits and my limbic system.

But on my list of priorities, a big dick is pretty far down the list. Thin and intelligent are much more important.

What's the biggest dick you've ever had sex with?

I don't remember. I do remember the biggest ones I've ever photographed: they were "Elephant Man" (who happened to be the first Dick of the Week) or a Harvard student I photographed back in the 1970s.

The smallest?

Three inches.

Tell me about each of those three guys.

Well, Elephant Man is described here. The Harvard student wasn't much to look at in the face department, and I've always suspected that he posed for me so that all his friends would know how well hung he was. (I'm being very crass, and it may have been more subtle than that.) Soon he started going to the gym, built a fabulous body, and a boyfriend followed. I haven't kept up.

The smallest one was a very, very cute boyish fellow, so thin he was almost frail, who liked hanging around the gay students' group even though he was no longer a student. At 35 he probably still looks like he's 18. He let me photograph him mostly nude, but not showing his dick -- I guess for the obvious reason. Years later, he revealed to me that he had appeared in a hard-core leathersex video! He wore a hood the whole time, so no one would figure out it was him. I immediately rented the video and had a great time getting turned on by his petite body and ultra-stiff dicklet.

Which is easier to keep hard -- a big dick or a small dick?

Small. Definitely small. It's all a matter of blood flow, area-to-volume ratios, and so on. I was a math major, remember? The small fellow had a rock-hard dick both times I had sex with him, and just about at every moment during the porno he appeared in. The two big fellows -- and every big-dicked guy I've met since -- were always tugging on their dicks during the photo shoots. They remembered how big they were when they were 13 -- and how it got hard and embarrassed them through their pants -- and it rarely got that big any more. Certainly it never got as hard as it once did.

You know, the porno stereotype is the guy with -- number one -- the huge dick, which is -- number two -- always hard. No way! The Gods get their revenge. Either it's huge, or it's always hard -- rarely both at once.

I guess I'm the happy medium.

What's your favorite way of USING your dick?

Sliding it into the tush of a thin, smooth, intelligent young man who is desperate to have me drip sweat on him as I fuck him over and over.

What's the most annoying way someone comes on to you -- like in a bar or at a party?

Hmmmm... guys so rarely come on to me in that specific way -- I don't know if there is an annoying way! I guess when he comes on to me and it turns out he has a boyfriend just a few feet away, and the boyfriend comes over and gets territorial -- I hate it when I'm just a pawn in some jerk's immature game. That one is called "Let's start a fight to prove how sexy I am."

If someone saw you in a bar, what would be the best line for him to use to get you interested in him?

He wouldn't have to say anything -- just do what one thin smooth fellow did to me once. He walked over and stood directly in front of me, pretending he was looking at something else. Then he backed into me and bent over slightly, pushing his tush into my crotch, through our clothes.

We had a lot of fun that night!

What would be the worst line?

"You know, there's really only trolls here tonight -- but I'm really horny. Wanna go home and let me fuck you?"

Are you cut or uncut?

Cut.

Which do you prefer in other men? Why?

Uncut. But it's low enough down on the priority list that I wouldn't mention it in a personals ad, for example.

What makes a dick pretty, or good-looking?

Hmmmm. Difficult to say. Symmetrical. None of those popping-out veins that seem so prominent in leather videos. One that's long enough to swing while walking and short enough to get into my mouth all at once. Smooth skin.

Do you think you have a pretty dick?

Yes. I've been told so, anyway.

Do you think your boyfriend's dick is pretty?

I don't have a boyfriend (hint hint), but I am dating a guy pretty seriously. He has the most gorgeous uncut 5 and a half-inch dick I've ever seen in my life.

What does your boyfriend like about yours?

That it's attached to a daddybear type, and that it's not tan. He has a dark complexion, and he likes pasty white boys -- the pastier the better!

Is your father cut or uncut?

He was uncut.

Does your father have a big dick?

I don't really know. He often walked around the house half-naked, since he slept wearing pajama tops but no bottoms. I think it was fairly thick, but size-wise I never saw it hard and of course to a little boy it looked enormous.

Does your dick have a name?

No.

Has it EVER had a name, like when you were younger?

No. But I do happen to have met the woman who (literally) wrote the book on "Genital pet names"! It's part of my checkered past as a professor doing research in sexology.

A professor?

Yeah, I have a Ph.D. and, until recently, did sex research and AIDS research for a living.

Why did you stop?

I'm very lucky to have a brain that lets me figure out stuff that's true. I got sick and tired of figuring out something, telling others about it, and then having them tell me I was nuts and a jerk to even think such things -- and then, 10 to 20 years later, I'd be proved right. In the meantime, my critics got tenure and managed to shut off my funding from grants.

The really nice thing about my current job -- webmaster -- is that the assholes who think I'm a jerk don't bother me; they just ignore me. So I never have to deal with their stupidities.

What are you webmaster of?

I'd rather not say. It's an interesting site about men and their dicks, with photos of lots of dicks in public, and interviews with guys about their dicks.

Kind of like what we're doing now?

Exactly. [He grins.]

Have you ever had the feeling that there is something wrong with your dick?

No -- unless you count oozing from a urinary infection (duh!). Sometimes I thought there was a minor nick or mark here or there, but they've never been noticed and sometimes they disappeared all on their own.

When you're wearing clothes, do you keep your dick inside underpants?

Not if I can get away with leaving my underpants at home.

Boxers or briefs?

Boxers, when I have to, because they let me swing free. Every now and then I'll wear briefs, for political reasons.

Political reasons?!?

If I'm trying to make a point about how it's OK to walk around at a Pride festival with a raging boner under your very brief briefs, but it's not OK to walk around showing any little bit at all of your soft dick.

Does it hang to the left or to the right?

A bit to the right.

Think of the period of time in the gym between when you're totally naked in the shower and when you're totally clothed and ready to walk out the front door. Let's say that that's 20 minutes. For how many of those 20 minutes is your dick naked and visible to other guys in the locker room?

At least 15. I don't think I've ever attracted anyone's lust on the basis of a nude locker-room performance, but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy trying!

Has there ever been a period in your life of one year or more during which NO ONE other than you saw your dick?

Hmmm... that's a good one. As an adult, no -- even before I was a nudist there was always some sex partner or love interest. In college, no -- the locker room at the gym. In high school and junior high, no -- again, the school locker room. In elementary school, maybe.

When is the last time someone saw your dick?

Yesterday when my roommate came home with a friend from work. I was nude, working on the computer.

When will be the next time?

Probably sometime today, when my roommate wakes up.

In high school, how often did other boys see your dick?

Every day, in the showers in the gym.

Girls?

Never. Never!

And in college?

Once or a few times per week.

Nowadays, during an average week, how many people see your dick?

Two. Roommate and the guy I'm dating. If there's a nude party, then many more.

Of course, everybody knows that a lot of teenaged boys get hard at inappropriate times -- and in a way so that other people can see that they're hard. Did this ever happen to you?

Actually, no. I never had one of those out-of-control teenaged throbbers.

When you jerk off, how do you hold your dick in your hand?

Right hand, fingers around the bottom, thumb alongside pointing toward the tip or wrapped around the top to meet the fingers.

What motion do you use?

Mostly the good old-fashioned forearm action, back and forth.

Tell me about the first time your dick ejaculated. What happened?

It was with the boy next door when I was about 12. My parents were away for the afternoon and I invited him over to play. I deliberately seduced him into a game of strip poker, which I had fantasized about but never done. I lost, and as a result probably had an insatiable boner -- although I don't remember for sure -- because I was naked and he still had his underpants on. We put our clothes back on and played again. Surprise! I lost again. Soon he got naked, too, and suggested we "jack off" (a phrase I had never heard before), and then he showed me how.

I had had wet dreams by that age, but never masturbated. When I came, I was immediately overcome with guilt and practically ran to the bathroom to take a leak. It was so soon after the orgasm that it burned a little bit, so I thought, "Gosh, I'll never do that again."

The next day... [he smiles]!

Guys I interview for Dick of the Week usually are exhibitionistic -- at least a little. Think back in your life to any times when you may have fantasized or thought about showing off your dick to someone else, on purpose. How old were you the FIRST time you had a thought or a fantasy like that?

As a pre-teen -- maybe 10 or 11.

What was the fantasy?

I was intensely interested in strip poker and nudist camps. I also got the idea that maybe I could invite a boy over to play, and then I could answer the door naked. That one was a really hot fantasy for me.

Did you ever act on it? Carry it out?

No. I did do the strip poker bit (see above). And at boy scout camp I was infuckingcredibly interested when other scouts set up a sexual merit-badge system and ran around the cabin at night stark naked.

In college, I once had to drop off a package at a guy's room. I got there at 11 AM, but everyone was still asleep (it was Sunday). I knocked; eventually one of his roommates stumbled over and opened the door, and he was 100% stark naked. It was totally without warning. I still remember his name and exactly what he looked like. He had the nerve to do casually what I deeply wanted to do sexually, and I never forgot it. If I had a son I'd name him after him -- I was that much in awe of his courage.

Does he know of your love for him?

No. He probably doesn't even remember who I am -- certainly not the incident. He must have been nude a lot; he was completely casual about it.

What's that you said about sexual merit badges and Boy Scouts?

I grew up in a distressingly white middle-class neighborhood, and the Boy Scouts were probably the most effective sex-education organization around. Our troop would go camping for a couple of weeks every summer at a Boy Scout camp. The fathers would sleep in the cabin, and the boys would sleep in tents arranged around the cabin. As soon as it got dark and the fathers got tired, the sexual shenanigans began.

I was in a "good boys" tent, but just two tents away was the Boy Scout Sex Education Headquarters. Those boys decided that to be a Tenderfoot you had to prove you were a boy to everyone else in the tent. (That meant dropping your trousers, obviously.) To be a second-class scout you had to touch another boy's dick, and to reach first-class rank you had to give a scout named Harvey a blow job. (Harvey was, obviously, one of the ringleaders.)

I'm amazed -- I still remember Harvey's name.

To reach the higher levels of sexual scouting, you had to run naked around the fathers' cabin a certain number of times. The ringleaders were not as sexually inventive as they seemed to be, so the requirements for the highest levels basically boiled down to running naked around the cabin increasingly large numbers of times. I wonder if the dads had any idea -- any idea -- what was going on out there with all the running and shrieking. Sometimes I think they were clueless. Other times I think they basically knew.

At least there couldn't have been any pedophiles among them -- or they would have been out there encouraging us! [Editor's note: Please accept our apologies if this comment offends anyone who really was molested at a Boy Scout event.]

Then there were the merit badges. I forget most of them, but the Sex merit badge involved answering several questions and then explaining, in detail, how babies really, really, really were made.

So did you get naked and run?

Of course not! I was a "good" boy. But I couldn't resist watching, and although I never entered the sex tent and never proved I was a boy I did peek in every now and then. I remember learning what rubbers (condoms) were, and hearing my first dirty song (it was the Beatles, with new words: "And I'll send all my children to you"). The boy who taught me the dirty song was a good friend, and on the way home from camp we sat together in the way-back seat of the station wagon. He reached his hand up my shorts and played with my dick! It was delicious.

So did any other Scouts ever see your dick that summer?

A few. It would have been more, but one of the boys went around inviting others to his tent and, I assume, got naked with them -- but he didn't let me join in. All I knew was they went into his tent and put up the flaps that closed the tent's "windows" -- and then played their games in privacy. Even though I was a good boy, I desperately wanted to participate.

But even in the good boys' tent, we did do a few sexy things. I remember trying to put my hand down into the other boys' sleeping bags, and then down into their pajama pants or underpants -- and one or two of them doing the same to me. I remember one of them telling the rest of us about fucking -- his dad had given him the sex education talk not long before. The boys were skeptical, and I was downright hostile to the idea: what, you make a baby by putting a dick into a vagina??

It seems comical, but we really doubted that that was how it was done. Obviously, none of us grew up on a farm!

Have you ever danced naked?

Oh yes!

What does your dick do when you do that?

Six years ago, when my dick hung down, it flopped back and forth -- nothing major, but it was real flopping. Now it just pulls up and looks tiny.

When you're dancing naked, do you think about how moving your body will move your dick? Do you do anything on purpose because of the way it's going to cause your dick to swing?

No.

What do you like the most about your dick?

That it still gets hard and fucks well, even though I once was given a senior citizen discount at a movie theater without qualifying for it or asking for it. (Sob!) That had nothing to do with my dick, of course. I didn't think I looked that old!

What do you like the most about having a dick?

That it has given me such endless pleasure and, through my website, modest financial rewards.

What do you like the least about your dick?

I want it to come out of its shell and go back to being floppy.

What do you like the least about having a dick?

Basically, nothing.

Has your dick ever gotten you in trouble?

Yeah. It's kept me up waaay too late some nights, and caused me to waste time and emotion on people who don't deserve it.

But nothing serious -- unless you count heartbreak (sniff)!

Thank me very much.

We're welcome!

Let me see Jim's photos.

Go back to the Dick of the Week page.