Jim's Pen is Central Page is extremely proud to present our 13th

Dick of the Week:

SpIke

Week 12

SpIke is impishly handsome, as you can see above.

SpIke lives in Toronto and is in charge of the website for TNT!MEN, a Toronto gay male naturist group. SpIke's name is David; the other is just a nickname. I conducted the interview at his home in eastern Toronto during my nude week at the end of February, 1999.

OK, let's start with the standard Dick of the Week question: Just how big is your dick, anyway?

[He smiles.] What kind of answers do you usually get? Do you want it in centimeters? [The metric system is in use in Canada.] Big enough, I suppose.

What are its measurements?

I haven't done circumference. Length is about 5.6 or 5.7 inches.

Do you know it in centimeters?

No. Multiply by 2.54.

So you never measured it in centimeters?

No. Or if I did I can't remember what the results were. Probably about 14.

How big around? For example, when you jerk off, can you get your hand around it?

Yes.

Is there any overlap at the tips of your fingers?

A little. [He holds up his fingers in a circle and shows an overlap of less than half a thumbnail.]

How often do you get the impression that someone's interested in you just because of your dick?

Not very often.

Which do you prefer: a big dick or a small dick?

Um... [He thinks for awhile.] Big to a certain point, but not too big. If I can't fit it into my mouth, I'm not interested.

And how big would too big be?

The width of my molars. They're fairly close. [He opens his mouth and points, measuring with his fingers in a way that looks quite comical.] If it's any wider than about an inch and a quarter, then it starts rubbing against my teeth and that causes problems. I won't reject someone if they have a big dick -- or a small dick -- but I feel less comfortable playing with it.

So length isn't the problem?

Length is fine. It's the fatness of it.

What's the biggest dick you've ever had sex with?

[He holds up his hands.] Probably about 11 or 12 inches.

The smallest?

Probably about 2 and a half inches. Wait -- do childhood experiences count? As an adult, about 2 and a half inches.

Which is easier to keep hard -- a big dick or a small dick?

Hmmm! Depends on the owner. [As a generalization?] Not enough data. [He smiles.] I think it has more to do with age than dick size. I know people with small dicks who have a lot of trouble getting it hard and people with big dicks who have no trouble getting it hard. I've seen the others as well.

What's your favorite way of USING your dick?

To think with? [He smiles.] Hmmm! Favorite way of USING my dick... I guess... [He notices my typing.] Don't type down the "I guess"!... Well, outside the bed, I guess, I like to use my dick politically. In bed, I don't know. No particular preference.

How would you use a dick politically?

Pushing for body acceptance, acceptance of nudity and nudists' rights, working toward political change in Toronto, working towards the liberation of the soul.

So, for example, marching nude in the Pride Day parade?

Yes. And the stuff on the web, as well. [David's wonderful website is located at <http://gypsy.rose.utoronto.ca/tnt/>.]

Are you cut or uncut?

Cut.

Which do you prefer in other men?

I find foreskins interesting because I don't see a lot of them, but I don't have a strong preference.

Why? Any other reason?

Extra bits to play with?

Is your father cut or uncut?

I think he's cut.

But you don't know.

I can't remember. I haven't seen him naked for many years.

When was the last time?

I guess in my early teens. No, it must have been about the age of 8 or 9. He used to be casually nude around the house but my mother made him stop when my sister was reaching puberty.

So you weren't at an age where that would have made an impression on you.

Well, I was certainly interested in pen ises. Most of them that I saw were cut. Almost none were uncut.

How big was your father's dick?

I only ever saw it flaccid. Probably about the same as mine. 3 and a half, 4 inches.

Tell me more about the political uses of dicks.

In North America, images of pen ises are incredibly taboo. You see them almost never, in any form. Casual nudity, while being legal even for family-rated shows, almost never includes male genitalia, even for the tiniest little glimpse. There's almost no representation of it in mainstream art or advertising or culture, so merely by acknowledging that you have one it feels like you are challenging society's fears about sexuality.

By being willing to put it on display, you're very directly challenging society's prohibitions against it. [For example,] in daily life, in the summer, I'll often wear just a pair of very tight, incredibly thin boxer shorts, which leave nothing to the imagination, and the fact that I have a pen is is unavoidably obvious. This gets some reaction in Toronto, but not very much. In Europe, in Paris, and in Barcelona, it got quite a big response. Paris was very disapproving; in Barcelona it was more shock and surprise -- tittering. In Amsterdam there was an undercurrent of disapproval that wasn't quite so marked. In Britain there were the occasional kids pulling at their dads, saying "daddy daddy look look!" It's mostly a way to remind them that what we're wearing is quite arbitrary and it doesn't get rid of the fact that we have them [pen ises]. It's just a reminder that all males have pen ises. I like to make them acknowledge that every now and then.

Do you think it has effects on people to see breasts so prominently featured in our culture and pen ises so much denied?

Yes. I think the effects are reflected in current fashions, where women's clothing is getting tighter and sexier again, and men's clothing is getting baggier and looser, hiding more and more their genitals.

Supposedly in the US there's a trend for teens to not shower naked after gym class. Is that the case here in Canada?

I couldn't tell you. It's a scary thought, and I wouldn't be too surprised. On the other hand, as a teen I was very shy about showering in a group -- constant erections being a problem at the time -- so I suppose that the young gay kids afraid of revealing too much may be relieved. But I think it does support the body shame that is permeating our culture.

When did you realize that this body shame was a bad thing?

I guess I never really felt ashamed of my body. It isn't something that affected me directly; it was more an awareness of how other people feel. I suppose in my late teens as I learned more about eating disorders is the first conscious memory I have of the idea of body shame.

Do you have any eating disorder yourself?

Does an addiction to chocolate count?

No.

Certainly not a clinical one.

But in some other way?

I'm far too attached to sugar and chocolate.

How about someone close to you?

My brother is very much on the very big side. He's a hefty person.

And how old was he when he started getting big?

Probably about 18 to 20.

Was there some reason for this that you can point to?

I'm not certain. He developed testicular cancer at that time; that certainly could have played havoc with his hormonal system and his mood. It was a lonely, difficult time for him and the food was a comfort -- and probably a way of dealing with the stress and fear associated with cancer.

Is he OK now?

Yes. He's had surgery and one recurrence of another nodule but they dealt with that with radiation. So he seems fine.

How much older than he is you?

He's two years younger.

He's the one whose photo you have upstairs?

[He nods.]

Do you remember an incident or a time when you first realized other people were more uptight about their bodies or their dicks than you are?

Well, as a youngster I was interested in getting the other kids on the street naked, especially the other boys, and I noticed that some boys were very shy, and were not willing at all to show their dicks or do the "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" game. It did register as a fear on their part, so I was aware of that. I didn't understand it as shame, though, until a little while later.

Were you the kind of kid who was a nudist at heart from the get-go, or were you more repressed as a child?

I was not a nudist from the get-go. I don't know about repressed... but more secretive. I wasn't willing to put myself on display to just anyone.

But to some people?

It had to be a mutual thing. I would if they would. If it was just going to be me, I wasn't going to do it around strangers. I always had hard-ons in change rooms and locker rooms, so it wasn't easy to parade around naked.

But obviously that's all changed now that you're grown up.

Yes. My first experience with a nude beach was at the age of 21, and I wouldn't get naked there because any time I tried I immediately had a hard-on and I wasn't willing to expose it. I'd have to lie face down and then as soon as I got up... My first time at the GNI Gathering in 1992 (?), I had my towel with me all the time at first because I was very afraid of having a hard-on revealing a sexual interest I wasn't interested in following up on. If someone saw me with a hard-on they might interpret it as meaning that I wanted to have sex with them, and it didn't necessarily mean that at all.

However, I guess on the second day I was finding that people were responding very nicely to me having an erection and didn't necessarily respond to it as being an invitation, but instead simply seemed to enjoy it, the sight of it, and the pleasure in seeing me with one. So I started to take more chances, walk around without my towel, be less afraid when I had an erection around other men, and I found that was very liberating and quite enjoyable. So now the only time I feel worried is in straight locker rooms and on Pride Day when I march naked. I think marching naked with an erection is something that Toronto isn't ready to deal with! However, there have been two close calls...!

And they were?

I went over to greet a friend on the side in the crowds, and the fellow beside him reached over and started to play with my dick and I started to get an erection, and I had to concentrate very hard on making it go away. Then I walked with a sign in front of me for awhile. Another time was when I was undressing someone else as they were joining us in the parade, and I still find that a very enjoyable experience!

[The interview is briefly interrupted as he goes into the kitchen to get me a glass of water.]

Was the guy you undressed the cute guy with the uncut dick and the shaved head two summers ago?

Probably. Yes. It also happened in New York in 1994 during the Gay Games. We undressed one fellow then, who joined us, and I also helped undress one woman. I did not get an erection that time.

So your turn on is to turn people on to political nudity?

No. Undressing them is fun. Getting them naked in public is also fun. Just getting them naked is fun. At some TNT clothing optional events, Toronto clothing optional events, one of the ways of having fun is to see how many men I can undress.

What's the best way to accomplish that?

Divide and conquer? [Grins.] Separate them from their friends. That's very important. Identify who wants to get undressed and is waiting for an invitation, and then offer that invitation in a nonthreatening and inviting way. Flattery helps. Doing the undressing yourself helps a lot, as opposed to letting them do it for themselves.

How do you tell who wants the invitation?

By how they're looking at you -- by their body language.

I noticed that after you got me the water from the kitchen, you returned to the couch and covered yourself with a throw. [He had been naked up to this point; I was clothed.]

Yes. Because I'm cold.

Were you aware that before you did that you had had your dick tucked between your legs?

Yes. It was cold.

What do you like the most about your dick?

I think it's a very pretty dick.

What makes it pretty?

The overall look, I guess -- the symmetry, the proportion, the coloration, add up to being very pretty.

What do you like most about having a dick, period?

Everything. It's very useful when peeing [he laughs], lots of fun to play with. [He scowls.] What are my options ? What's not to like?

What do you like the least about having a dick?

Can't think of anything.

What do you like least about your dick?

There is more hair on my dick than I would like.

Where?

On the underside and working its way up from the base. It would be nice if it stayed down at the base, but it seems to be creeping up.

Oh. In my case, that stopped -- almost as soon as I had noticed it.

Has your dick ever gotten you in trouble?

Not what *I* would call trouble! There have certainly been moments of exposure and of almost being caught, moments when I parents found out more than I wanted them to find out, but none of those are really trouble in my eyes.

Something your parents found out?

I used to spend a lot of time in my public library looking for pen ises when I was a kid -- as an adolescent, even younger. There was an arts magazine that had photos of a show of a woman artist involving a variety of media. One of the pieces was sculpture, maybe a casting, of a pen is getting larger and then softer -- a dick in stages of tumescence. I found this very inspirational. I rushed home and made a flip chart of a pen is getting larger and then softer. I then for some unknown reason hid this in the rafters in my father's workshop and then completely forgot about it. My dad found it some years later and showed it to my mom; she confronted me and gave me a little talk about going through a phase and the birds and the bees and stuff like that.

The phase was what kind of a phase?

Presumably a homosexual phase, but she didn't say that. I think she would have been happier if I had made pictures of naked women; I suspect that she wouldn't have said anything at all. My father also used to have a stash of pornography in his truck. One day when I was about 13 I duplicated a key to his truck so I could come and go at will. For the next year or two, on my way to or from school, I would sometimes disappear into the truck, reading the porn and jacking off. There were several close calls when there were people on the street -- or my family out in the driveway -- and I was trapped inside the truck and afraid of being caught. Those were always exciting, scary times.

I was eventually caught, I guess, maybe age 15, on my way to school one afternoon my dad was home. He came to the door to watch me leave, and I immediately headed to the truck and hopped inside. So he came to the truck and opened the door with this great big grin on his face and asked for his key back. I responded with a great deal of frosty anger and accused him of spying on me. And I said it's MY key. [He chuckles.] Do you always spy on me? -- I asked. He thought it was very funny. I found it funny only about a week later, but it was very embarrassing at the time, and it wasn't too long after that that he stopped having porn in his truck.

So what was it that made you a nudist activist?

There are many reasons . The first thing that made me realize how important the nudist movement is was also the first time I was ever really naked in a social way -- at a conference in 1992 in Toronto called the Gay Vision Conference, which brought together sex radicals and teachers to examine the future of gay sexuality. There were many instructors -- participants in the Body Electric school in California -- which at the time was focused on bringing men together for erotic initiations and opening them up to the erotic energy that can surround us if we want it to.

During the conference there were a number of different workshops, scheduled in a way to get people gradually more comfortable taking risks with each other, and we started Sunday with a ritual of getting naked, and then spending the rest of the day naked. It was a very powerful, life-changing experience for me. It was also where I met Peter -- and that was probably the turning point in my life. Until then I had been naked in the baths, but I never really thought about it much. For example, it never occurred to me how difficult it was for so many of the bath patrons to walk around the baths without their towels -- how difficult it was, how much fear there was.

I noticed that your boyfriend Peter has a dick. What do you like the most about it?

It's a very pretty dick. Nice looking. It's fun the way it bends downwards, instead of upwards, like mine [when it's hard].

What makes it a pretty dick beside the bend?

The shape, the symmetry, the proportions, the coloration. It's not quite as pretty as mine, but it's still a very nice looking dick!

Is his bigger or smaller than yours?

Considerably bigger. As a wise man once said, "As a gay man, you are entitled to a big dick. If not your own, then someone else's!" A line from Fruit Cocktail, a gay theater production in Toronto, the 1992 show, I believe.

Do people ever come on to him just because he has a big dick?

Yes. Frequently.

How does that make YOU feel?

That doesn't bug me, really. When we first went to GNI together -- well, Peter is also in better shape than I am, as well as being taller. Whenever we would walk anywhere I thought I was invisible because people would have their eyes on him; I found that hard to deal with -- at first.

But now?

At that first Gathering, it was before I had done the Body Electric workshop. Later that year I had that experience. I felt much better about myself after that, and found that the next year at GNI, presumably I was more open and more receptive to the people because I found that it wasn't the same, and people WERE noticing me and paying more attention to me, and the attention that Peter got wasn't at all bothersome. Learning to accept my own erotic power was very important.

Anything else you want to say about dicks in general or your dick in particular?

[He looks a bit puzzled.] Not really. I guess everything is posted on my web page.

Well thank you very much!

You're welcome!

Let me see SpIke's photos.

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