Dick of the week:

Russel

Ever been attracted to blonds? Platinum blonds?

OK, so you're not into physical things. Right -- uh huh. So let me ask you:

Ever been attracted to guys who work naked? Lift weights naked in public at 4 AM? Talk to cops naked? Open up a store and have a naked night there for your naked friends?

Russel is a guy like that. I met him at San Diego's gay naked group, the BBC (Bare Buns of California). I had heard that he was about to open up a retail shop -- a photocopy store with printing, résumé, and computer-rental services called Naked Words. And I heard that he was planning to have a once-a-month nude night there. Can you imagine? An entire store filled with naked people working on office machines? I had to find out what made this fellow tick.

OK, so I'm here with Russel (one 'l', and his real name) in his apartment in San Diego. And strangely enough he has clothes on. [He laughs.] How come?

Cause I have to leave immediately, but I'll be happy to take them off!

Where are you going?

Back to my new office, to install new software and more computers.

This is your brand spanking new computer-time rental shop?

Yeah -- a "PC workplace" is what we're going to call it. The name is "Naked Words."

Let me begin with the compulsory Dick of the Week question, which is: So just how big IS your dick, anyway?

Unfortunately the dick is only six inches, but it's good enough for me -- and everybody who's played with it seems to like it

Well, that's nice! I see here you have LOTS of photos of it in this wonderful calendar.

Yes, I do. About 280 of them!

In all shapes and sizes.

And all different positions.

It must have been quite a layout job.

It was absolutely fun to do it. THIS [points to a stack of regular pictures] took me 5 months to do. THAT took 5 days. It was amazing how often the dick got hard while I was doing it, and how often I had to relieve that dick, because it was too hard.

Excuse me for asking, but how can a dick be too hard?

It wants to go outside and play, and when it's inside it gets really hard because it wants to go outside. THIS dick gets harder when it goes outside; it's just one of those things.

But still, why is getting hard inside a problem?

Oh, it's not a problem; it it's just that it wants to be released outside, and it gets harder and harder and harder inside until it finally convinces me to take it outside.

So are YOU the exhibitionist or is your DICK the exhibitionist?

[Pauses.] I think my dick is the exhibitionist, and I just follow along for the ride.

If you didn't have a dick, you wouldn't go naked?

That might be true, as a matter of fact. That would mean I had a cunt and I sure wouldn't want to show that! [Laughs loudly.]

So tell me about the first time your dick said, I want other people to see me outside?

I guess I was 6 years old, in Utah. One of the boys in first grade with me was always running around outside naked. Northern Utah is full of orchards -- apples, peaches, pears -- and... I wish I could remember his name. His nickname was Cavity because he'd already lost all of his teeth -- ALL of his teeth, period -- and between home and school there were all these orchards and we used to walk through them naked.

His idea or yours?

His. Definitely his. After a year, it became my idea to explore other places than the orchards, and I know at the age of 7 we were walking up and down the street behind the food store, near apartment complexes, and there was a gravel pit and railroad yard, and we used to go play there naked. I think that was the first time that I jacked off FOR someone else, and that he jacked off for me. Not that there was any ejaculation with those nice little dicks, but we sure had a lot of fun!

So whose idea was it to play with the dicks?

Mine. When my dick got hard it really felt nice in my own hand, and I wanted to feel someone else's dick. And he was up for it -- pun intended, I guess!

But it was his idea to walk naked, originally.

Originally, yeah. I was a nice Mormon boy and didn't do things like that.

Was he Mormon, too?

I don't know. There ARE non-Mormons living in Utah!

So how did you think of yourself as a good Mormon boy if you were running around naked?

You go to church and confess to God and convince yourself that you'll never do it again. Heartfelt sorrow.

You felt guilty?

Oh yeah.

But...

It was so much fun! Which is more fun... guilt or fun? Well fun is more fun. Screw the guilt. Although it did affect me for 32 years.

And that's 38 minus 6?

You got it! [At this point, he strips naked.]

So did anyone ever see you naked when you were a boy?

Oh yeah. I think third grade, age 7 or so. Cavity and I got called faggot a lot because we were playing in the gravel pit one time and a group of the older boys found us naked there and they tortured us by taking our clothes and telling us we had to walk home naked and all that. We were always getting caught naked in the orchards. They were family orchards, maybe half an acre each, and typically the families were headed by 45-year-old guys who can be outrun by an 8-year-old pretty easily, so none ever caught up with us. And they never recognized us since all naked little boys look alike!

So did your parents ever find out?

Not that I'm aware of. Maybe rumors and innuendoes, but they never caught us.

What would have happened if they had?

That's a good question, but since both my mom and stepdad were alcoholics and drunk most of the time, probably nothing. I had a really loose childhood simply because they were always drunk.

Sorry to hear that.

Chalk it up to another American dysfunctional family. Another American normal family, should I say?

What did you do with your clothes while you were walking this way to school?

Usually we'd hide them in a tree or under a raspberry bush. That's how the older guys found our clothes because we'd left them at the top under a rock and we were down at the bottom.

So walking to school...?

We carried our clothes with us.

So because of your parents you were able to have a lot of free time to do naked stuff. Did any teacher or grownup at school ever find out?

Not that I'm aware of.

Did you ever get naked at school?

Oh yeah, in the auditorium where they played basketball. There were all sorts of wonderful places to run around naked -- behind the bleachers, underneath the bleachers.

Tell me more about how you did that.

The nice thing about Mormon places is that they are open. There's no such thing as a locked door. You could go anywhere there wasn't cash, and anyone had use of the auditorium 24/7. It was very easy to slip in, take off your clothes, hang them on one of the supports, and take off having fun.

You'd do this one the weekends?

This was in Brigham City, Utah, and the layout was magnificent with the school on the mountainside, so you could use the school as a base, take your clothes off, and walk down into the orchards or up the mountain hiking.

Were you ever naked during school hours?

[He thinks for a bit.] Once during lunch hour, yeah.

Tell me more.

The playground abutted the orchard, and the difference about Mormon playgrounds is that they put in lots of places to have fun -- lots of little shacks -- with tunnels in them so you can crawl through them. There was one house-shaped thing that had crisscrossing things, slides actually, if you went to the back of that tunnel house it so happened that the view of the whole school was blocked, so you could get naked there and then take off into the orchard. Cavity and I used to do that since 8th, 9th, and 10th grades frequently: get naked and go out into the orchards and... [he pauses]

And what?

Eat pears while naked. Eat raspberries while naked. Screw the school cafeteria; we had better places to eat!

And a nicer atmosphere!

Oh, absolutely. No bitchy witchy teachers around.

So by 8th grade I assume you were having ejaculations, eh?

No, I was one of those late bloomers. I didn't have my first ejaculation until probably the age of 11. By that time I had been adopted by my grandmother and was in Texas. I was one of those school geeks; I always went to my classes, always studied, always made good grades -- except in conduct [citizenship] I was a holy terror. But I remember about a year after I had been at my grandma's house in Texas, I was sitting in the garage reading and I had my hands down my pants playing with my dick while I was reading. Usually I had the sensation of ejaculation, but this day I thought something [bad] had happened because there was wet sticky stuff all over my hand. I got up and went to the bathroom to try to determine what had happened, and it was so sticky and oogy [he laughs]! And I know it wasn't until midway through 9th grade that I finally grew public hair and the testicles descended. I was ten in 5th grade when I arrived in Texas. I was the one who always got picked on in gym class, because all the other boys had the big balls hanging low, and the big dick, and the really nice pubic hair. And I think that's made me gay because everybody picked on me, I had no real macho dad, my grandma took care of me -- every stereotype that's out there!

So you never ejaculated with Cavity?

We got to that point where if he had been older there would have been ejaculation. You know how after you come for some people the dick gets very sensitive and they can't take any physical stimulation?

[The phone rings; he walks naked in front of the window and back while talking on the cordless.]

Cavity and I got to that point after playing with each other for several minutes. So with great hindsight it's obvious that it was an orgasm, but prepubescent with no really nice creamy stuff involved.

I noticed when the phone rang that you walked back and forth naked, even in front of the window. Has anyone here ever seen you naked from outside?

"Oh, absolutely, he says, laughing!" [He's noticed that I type in actions like "laughing," and is gently ribbing me.] A couple of months after Jack and I moved in here, I came home -- and there was a San Diego Police Department card on my door saying please call immediately. So I called, and the female sergeant /detective wanted to talk to me down at her office. She wanted to talk to me about nudity in my own home. And I said, what's the problem? "Well, we've been getting a lot of complaints that you like to walk around naked with the windows open." Yeah? "We've had lots of complaints and we'd appreciate it if you would close your blinds," I think she said. So knowing full well that a Supreme Court decision in 1973 said that I can walk around naked in my place with the blinds open, I asked her if it was illegal for me to be naked in my place with the blinds open. Her response of course was no, but she encouraged me again to close the blinds if I wanted to walk around naked in my place.

What was that court decision?

The decision was it's not illegal. I told her it was not and I quoted the case, and I told her I'm a nudist and I have no problem with my naked body, and if someone's looking in my place then they must want to see something. So maybe I have a case against some peeping toms? At which point she didn't like my attitude. I forget exactly what she said, but she wasn't happy that I knew exactly what was legal and illegal. I'm well aware of the fact that in my car and in my house, I can be naked if I want to be, but if I step out naked onto my patio, it's a different story -- it's illegal. Remember all this is in the context of an apartment complex. It's been two years later and I haven't heard from anybody since!

What was the Supreme Court decision?

I know it took place in Kentucky, but I now don't remember the details any more. State of Kentucky versus Joe Blow. Since he was in his own private residence, it didn't matter if there were blinds on the windows or not.

I've read a San Diego city ordinance saying that it IS illegal to be naked inside your own house if people can see you from a public way. So your argument was that this law is superseded by the Supreme Court ruling? Or that the peepers couldn't see you from a public way?

I think, if you finish reading the ordinance, you'll see that simple mere nudity is not illegal. Nudity for sexual arousal or gratification of others IS illegal. Jacking off is not good. But then it's not really naturist. It would come under exhibitionism, which is illegal. So I would suspect that if I had a place looking out on the street, and I was standing that the window for one and a half hours -- probably not good. Probably the person's intention is to arouse himself or others. Exhibitionism -- not good.

Now I see here on your calendar that you ARE naked in some places outdoors where other people MIGHT see you. Have you gotten into trouble for things like that?

I've been caught several times but never gotten in trouble. The most recent one was summer a year ago. I have two spots here in San Diego where I go nude sunbathing on a daily basis, both of them 5 minutes' walk from where I live. So I'm laying out at my favorite spot one day; it's not well traveled but once every 60 days a jogger would jog by. On this specific day it was a couple of weeks before the Super Bowl -- last January. I'm laying in this spot and two San Diego police cars pull up. I'm laying out 100% naked, reading Playgirl and Inches magazines [he laughs]. Six police officers get out of the two cars, come over to me, and a female officer (the only woman of the six) obviously was in charge. She said, and I will quote, "We don't mind you laying out here naked and getting a suntan. Nude sunbathing IS illegal, and you should be aware that there are lots of vagrants around here." I thanked them. They went and did whatever they were there to do. I thought they were checking the vegetation for possible sniper hiding areas, stuff like that, since I live close to the football stadium. But that was all they said, and the six of them walked away. I now know that it was the Transient Police, and that explains why they went where they went, because I had already explored the area, and there were lots of transient homes in the bushes around there. In fact, I've been caught three times by authorities who had the power and the societal obligation to arrest me. None of them did.

Because it was clear you weren't one of the transients -- you were reading Inches magazine.

Right. And I wasn't causing trouble, and it was in basically out of the way places. Yes, someone could come by, but the spots I always pick are secluded yet open -- secluded enough so that they can't be seen by very many people, but open enough so that the occasional jogger or car might come by. Those are my favorite spots.

Favorite spots. How come?

I'm an exhibitionist. I'm a voyeur, and I'm a gay nudist. The exhibitionist part in there wants someone to find me, but at the same time I simply enjoy being in the sun, so I don't want too many people to find me so that I can't go nude sunbathing there any more. It's the thrill of the capture.

What do you you mean by that?

The thrill of someone possibly finding you.

So when someone like that jogger does find you, what happens next?

Everybody has gone on their merry little way except for one person, and he was about 2 years ago, 4:30 in the morning. I was out at one of my spots working out with free weights. This guy walked by and asked me how much further the path went. I told him, he left, and about 10 minutes later he came back. Said something to the effect, can I give you a blowjob? I thanked him for the flattery but told him I was in a relationship and had had a Significant Other for 3 years, and he said it never hurts to ask, and left again.

Now a lot of people would assume that if you had lover of 3 years, and were out naked at 4 FUCKING 30 in the morning, that you must be out there specifically to have sex with guys other than him. Not true?

Not true. First and foremost I'm a nudist, second I'm a gay nudist, third I'm an exhibitionist and voyeur. None of those specifically means having sex with any other person. Now my own definition of sex certainly includes exhibitionism, it's the safest form of sex there is [he laughs]. Quite frankly I think my exhibitionism is why I'm alive and not dead of AIDS. Granted I was closeted, but I enjoyed jacking off for people more than anything else. I still enjoy that more. My Significant Other knows everything about me. He knows I like to jack off for other guys; I don't keep anything from him. At a recent photo shoot one of the gay guys was sucking my dick. Pictures were taken, a set was given to me, and my Significant Other has seen those pictures.

Is he a voyeur or exhibitionist?

No.

So how did this relationship come about?

We met at the coming out support group in San Diego. Hit it off and we've been together ever since. It wasn't love at first sight. I call it "love after a seminar" because I had gone to a seminar that day on "How to Find Mr. Right," and it basically said that there IS no Mr. Right. Everybody has faults, and some of those faults are going to eat at you. My Significant Other has an overly large mole on his left cheek. I hated it. I still hate it. It's the only thing I hate about him. And I kept looking at it the night we met, wondering if that was the only thing that I would hate about this guy, and indeed it has been. If I can't live with an overly large mole on someone's face, I have other problems.

Well said! The sexologist in me wants to ask what kind of sex you and he have.

We do everything except anal sex. Neither of us are intrigued or stimulated by anal sex. I think we both love mutual masturbation, and although he's not a nudist or an exhibitionist or a voyeur, when we travel I have been able to get him to jerk off with me outdoors -- Yellowstone, Crater Lake, Olympic National Park, etc.

So tell me more about this wonderful calendar.

Well, I rarely get Jack to do anything outdoors with me here -- as much as I would like him to. He knows that I'm always hiking all these parks naked, I go to Balboa Park naked -- everywhere I can see the sun shines is a nude beach as far as I'm concerned. So at the Pride festival this year in Update and the Gay and Lesbian Times there was this picture of a naked man laying face down on a roof with the skyline in the background. It was just so erotic, it was so Russel -- even though it wasn't me. It so happens that the photographer had a booth at Pride festival, so I talked to him about doing a special project for me. I'd have him follow me to my nude sunbathing spot, document me with photographs, laying out my towel, getting undressed, putting suntan oil on -- and then I would give that to my Significant Other for Christmas. The photographer and HIS assistant told me how neat it would be to do some other outdoor shots. One thing led to another, and 900 pictures later... [he laughs]!

*******

We're interrupted because Russel has to go to work -- not at Naked Words, but at his other job.

*******

Now I'm with Russel in his office, where he's the treasurer, secretary, human resources director, and chief financial officer of a small high-tech firm in San Diego. It's 7:30 PM.

I take it that your boss -- the owner of the company -- knows you're naked now, here at work?

Yes. He knows that I'm a nudist, a gay nudist, a gay exhibitionist nudist, a gay exhibitionist voyeur nudist. He has also seen portions of the calendar, so he's well aware of my habits. And he knows that I work nude in the office before hours and after hours.

Is it OK if I get naked?

Sure!

Wonderful! [I do.]

My vice president also knows that I work naked.

How did they find out?

They asked me questions and I don't mind telling. It turns out that the three of us worked in Pensacola for a couple of months, and Pensacola -- being nice and hot -- is one of those places that just encourages you to get naked. I used to work from 6 in the morning until midnight, so I took 3-hour lunch hours. After about four of those they asked me where I went for lunch. I told them I found a nice opening in one of the forests and I lay out there naked to get a suntan. They didn't believe me, of course, but they have since learned that I don't lie.

So for you being truthful, to them, is more important than you being clothed.

Oh, absolutely!

Excellent!

I spent 38 years hiding myself; I'm not hiding any longer. They know what kind of job I do, they need someone who does that, and I'm financially secure enough that I ain't gonna do it unless it's fun, challenging, and I can do it my way.

If I were to take that out of context and recite it in a monotone, someone might get the idea that you were angry about having to wear clothes.

And someone would be correct. I think it's stupid. The only thing more stupid is wearing a tie on top of your clothes.

And why is that?

I have never had any use for a tie. It's the most stupid piece of clothing that anyone ever invented.

So why do people wear them?

Tradition! Well, tradition sucks.

I personally think they're a phallic symbol. People want to look at a guy's dick, male or female, and if his pants cover it up they have to put a brightly colored one in front to substitute.

[He laughs.] I never thought of that! But if you're going to go that route, have you ever noticed that the point of the tie points to the dick? I love it!

No, but I did figure out how I can start hanging a tie around my neck so that the two ends will end up even with each other once I finish tying it. I have to start with it hanging around my neck so that the tip of the big end is right at the tip of my dick. Then I tie the tie and the ends end up the right length. That gives me an excuse to put on my shirt first, and tie my tie before I put on my pants.

[He laughs.]

It's true!

I wonder why I never had that much fun with a tie....! I tried wearing one as a thong one time, but it was a little too wide.

What occasion was that?

Oh, playing around. Nothing special. Playing around one day. That was back when I had a job where I DID have to wear a tie.

So has anyone here at work ever seen your dick here at work?

Yes, the president and the vice president.

Tell me more.

They made the mistake of walking in before 8 o'clock one morning.

And?

And now they know better. But they weren't totally embarrassed. In fact, our vice president said, Oops, we forgot! [He laughs.]

You know, it gives you a really good feeling to be able to be yourself and discover that other people still like you.

Yes, it really does. I get tremendous support from our president and vice president, and they're also both personal friends of mine as well as business relationships.

So you mentioned that some people are buying your calendars.

Yeah, in fact, going back to the president and vice president real quick, this summer, when I started doing this calendar, I took off Wednesday afternoons for 4 hours to do these photo shoots, and the president asked me what I was doing and of course I told him. And he said, well, it doesn't faze me, nothing you do fazes me. He then told our vice president that he (the vice president) should ask me about my special Christmas present. [He laughs.] So he calls up, too, and asks, and I told him and he said now that sounds really cool. Both of them, over the course of the next 6 months, continued to ask me how work on it was going. Both saw the finished product. They didn't sit there and stare at each and every picture in the calendar, but they did go month to month and commented on how well it was laid out and so on . So they've each seen me with full erection and with cum on the dick.

Once you mentioned to me that one of them has a gay father.

The president.

Tell me more.

The president kept asking me to come up and meet his dad, simply because he and I like each other, and he wanted me to meet his parents. Well it was 2 years before I got to meet him, and I took my Significant Other up to Los Angeles to meet him, back in 1996. Two and a half weeks later, over the Thanksgiving meal, the dad (of the president) informs mom and the 4 kids that he's getting a divorce so he can be openly gay. As soon as the president tells me this, I figure out that he came out because he met me and knows his son is friends with a gay couple and obviously doesn't have any problem with gay people.

I've since found out that his dad told his mom when they first started dating that he was gay. He's been cheating on her for 37 years. As a [occupation] he gets to go to lots of conventions, and everywhere he goes he found himself another man to spend the days or weekend with. He always came home and told her what he had done; she accepted it. 37 years later he finally says I don't like living this way. He's a great guy; he and I are now personal friends.

OK, now let me change the subject. Has anyone ever told you that you have a beautiful dick?

Yeah, a few people.

When someone does, what do they like about it?

Most of the them like the fact that it's perfectly straight when it's hard. Makes it easy to go down on, I guess! [He laughs.]

Any other dick compliments?

I probably get more compliments on my blond body hair than anything else.

What kinds of dicks do YOU like?

Long straight ones -- but I 'm not a size queen. 7 inches is about max for me.

And your minimum?

My ideal guy is a southern California bleached blond surfer dude -- and I've never dated one or fell in love with one.

Your boyfriend is not blond?

Nope. Redhead, of all things! And I would correct "boyfriend" to "Significant Other."

What would be the minimum size?

I actually love a dick that fits perfectly into my hand, which is probably 4 and a half to 5 inches.

Since your Significant Other is not an exhibitionist, feel free to not answer, but is his about that size?

His -- we've never measured each other -- I don't think he's ever measured himself, but I think he's about 6 and a half inches.

What do you like most about your dick?

The fact that it likes to be played with often. It doesn't mind being played with at all.

What do you like least about your dick?

It doesn't get played with enough -- "as he reaches down and starts playing with it." "Laughs, but doesn't really do it." [Again, he's mimicking what he supposes I'll be typing.]

What do you think of the saying, "Don't use your dick for a brain?"

In today's world, it's probably a good saying. We had a saying in Texas that's about the same thing: his little head doesn't have a big enough brain.

Which is easier to get hard -- a big dick or a small dick?

I don't know, I think it has more to do with the brain than actual dick size.

What's the biggest dick you've ever had sex with?

Keeping in mind that I came out at the age of 38, I'm 44. My Significant Other and I have been together for 5 years -- that leaves one missing year. And during that year, I was reading about sexual orientation issues and coming out. So: Biggest dick I've ever had sex with is my Significant Other's.

And the smallest?

Is mine.

So his is bigger than yours?

I assume it is. I think it is. Neither of us is interested in size or circumference or anything like that, so it doesn't bother us.

One more question: Do you prefer cut or uncut?

Cut.

Because?

I just think it's prettier.

So who's buying your calendars?

I've sold 4 to BBC members [San Diego gay nudists], 2 to PSSST members [Palm Springs], 3 to the friends of the model who helped me do them, and then 1 to another friend in the Bay Area. I also have 5 more requests, of which 2 are from Saturday night party people -- one of whom is a 96 year old man. I can't imagine being 96 years old -- gee whiz! He's a hilarious guy to talk to. He is FUNNY!

Anything else about dicks you want to mention to the readers?

Yes -- get em out of your clothes! They're too beautiful to be hidden!

Thank you very much!

Want to check out Russel's calendar for yourself? He'd be happy to produce a copy on his computer printer just for you!

• A 12-month calendar -- beginning with the 1st of next month -- costs $20.
• An 18-month version -- running from 1 July 1999 to the end of 2000 -- costs $28.

You can order your copy in the Pen is Store.

Let me see Jim's photos of Russel.

Let me buy Russel's calendar.

Go back to the Dick of the Week page.

NOTE:
Our last Dick of the Week was a bottom, and we promised you an interview this week with a top. However, we've rearranged things slightly to give you the chance to see Russel. The interview with the top will be next. Stay tuned!