Dick of the week:

"Bathhouse Bobby"

I met Bobby at the 1998 IMEN gathering -- he was well known and the popular choice of the audience to be my assistant during my magic act in the talent show. Over the preceding 12 months he had lost over 50 pounds -- and looked quite trim and healthy. I didn't get around to interviewing him until the 1999 gathering, at which point he'd gained about 20 of them back. But he swore he'd get them off again!

His nickname -- Bathhouse Bobby -- apparently began in 1997, when it became known that he was an employee at a gay bathhouse near where he lives.

So just how big IS your dick, anyway?

I don't know; I never measured it.

How big around?

I don't know that... Just a satisfying size, I guess.

When you jerk off, can you get your fingers around it?

Yeah.

When you're holding it with one hand, does your thumb touch your index finger?

No. It touches, but there's no overlap.

How much longer than your hand is it when it's hard?

I can usually fit both hands on it.

How much is left over after 2 hands?

About 3/4 of an inch.

So that alone ought to make you popular in the bathhouse?

That and the leather bar!

Has your dick ever been seen out in the open in a leather bar?

Yes.

Tell me about it.

It was a party; they threw me in the cage and stole my clothes. They left me with a cute boy in there, though. So we bumped and grind [ed]. It stayed hard the whole time, cause they were pouring beer all over me.

I didn't know beer was that exciting.

I didn't realize it either, till then!

What was exciting about it?

I don't know if it was the bumping and grinding or the people pulling from the outside. Just the attention, I guess.

So it wasn't the beer, per se.

Right.

I notice, of course, that you're uncut. This may sound like a strange question -- but how did that happen?

When I was born my parents decided against it. They're Catholic. I had to have a blood transfusion as soon as I was born. I don't even know if my brother's uncut or not. I have one brother, 7 years older.

So I take it that it was a sexually conservative family, with no nudity in the home. When was the first time you encountered nudity?

Yup. When I was five years old we lived near a lake and I couldn't get my bathing suit on, and so I ran over to the neighbors' house with my bathing suit in hand. That was embarrassing, because they [the neighbors] were entertaining priests and nuns!

So what happened?

My mother just grabbed me and brought me back home.

So you didn't go swimming that day?

Not nude. I finally got the suit on.

But you learned a lesson about nudity!

Yes.

Do you ever lose partners who think that you're too big for them?

No, I don't think so.

Which do you yourself prefer: a big dick or a small dick?

Depends on the person. Never been a size queen.

What's the biggest dick you've ever had sex with?

Eleven inches. Eddie F. He was 19 years old.

Who was he?

Just someone I met at one of the clubs I used to go to.

The smallest?

About 3 inches, if he was lucky. [He laughs and looks regretful.] That was a fantasy gone bad. I've had a lot of those.

Tell me about the fantasy.

His name was Rob and I thought he was so adorable I used to see him everywhere, and we talked and one night we dated and ended up back at his place and disappointment set in. But even though he was small I still like him a lot.

Do you prefer cut or uncut?

Cut.

Because?

I don't know. I just seem to like them more.

Which is easier to keep hard -- a big dick or a small dick?

Small dick.

How come?

I don't know. It just seems like anyone I've been with who's been big, they can't keep it fully hard. Except for Ed [he laughs].

So what was it with Ed that kept his dick so hard?

He was 19! At that age they're always hard.

How old were you at the time?

29.

You cradle-robber!

Yes! [He smiles.] I like chicken [young gay men]. What can I say?

What's your favorite way of USING your dick?

Having someone suck it. Rather, 69ing.

Any particular technique, other than 69?

No.

I take it that from time to time guys come on to you just because you have a big dick.

Yes.

How does that make you feel?

Wonderful!

How often do you get the impression that someone is interested in you ONLY because you have a big dick?

Quite often.

How can you tell?

Cause I usually catch their eyes looking at my crotch instead of my eyes when they're talking to me.

Even if your dick is inside your pants?

Yeah.

Then how can they tell?

It depends on what I'm wearing. Sometimes I wear shorts that show it off quite well, and some of my jeans show it off quite well.

But this obviously doesn't bug you.

No.

How old were you when you first realized that your dick was bigger than most other guys'?

Not until I was in my 20s.

How did that happen?

Up until that point I only had had sex with my best friend, and then when I started going to different places -- I wasn't out then but I was going to the movie theater and stuff -- that's when I figured that I was bigger than most.

What's the most annoying way someone comes on to you -- like in a bar or at a party?

When they just grab me.

If someone saw you in a bar, and figured out you had a big dick, what would be the best line for him to use to get you interested in him?

Hi, I'm 18! [Laughs loud.]

What would be the worst line?

[Thinks a long time.] What was the line that.... the one someone actually used... Oh: he said, "Heaven must be empty because you're on earth."

Why did that turn you off?

Cause I thought they could come up with something more creative than THAT!

Is your father cut or uncut?

I have no idea.

Does your father have a big dick?

I don't know if he did or not. He's passed away.

Tell me about the first time you ever danced naked.

For pleasure? I used to be a stripper. The first time was when I was a stripper, in a stripping contest.

Where?

In Worcester, Massachusetts.

Did you strip all the way?

Yes I did.

But I hear that's against the law.

Not in Worcester, as long as they have the area roped off and nobody can go into the dance area.

So then you worked there as a stripper?

No, only for a contest. Then I started stripping at other clubs, including a strip club for men, but I didn't strip naked there.

Where did you strip other than for the contest?

Nowhere else that I stripped totally naked. The first time that I DANCED naked was at IMEN three years ago, which I thought was just so great. Now I dance naked at the Eagle, not as a stripper, just for fun.

So it's legal in [your town]?

No.

But you do it anyway.

Yeah.

Anybody else join you?

Yes. A couple of friends, and a couple of other people.

When you dance naked, what does your dick do?

It just goes from one side quickly to the other side quickly [he laughs].

When you're dancing naked, do you think about how moving your body will move your dick? Do you do anything on purpose because of the way it's going to cause your dick to swing?

No.

What do you like the most about your dick?

It gets attention.

What do you like the most about having a dick -- or a big dick?

When I was a kid, I hated having an uncut dick because I was so different from everyone else. Once I started going to the clubs and the nude things I realized it was a blessing because more guys like it because it's uncut.

What do you like the least about having a dick?

Wow -- I never thought of that one! [He thinks a long time.] Probably when it gets hard when I don't want it to get hard.

Give me an example.

I don't know. Like when I'm at work and and I see someone I like and I get hot, it just gets a mind of its own.

Has your dick ever gotten you in trouble?

[He laughs.] We'll leave it at that.

Aw come on -- inquiring minds want to know.

OK. Sometimes when I stay in [east coast state] there's a cheap hotel near a regular strip bar. The last time I was there I was wearing shorts showing it off and one of the female strippers said out loud, oh my god what a big dick he must have!

What's a nice boy like you doing in a female strip bar?

Oh, I wasn't in the bar, it was next to the hotel. They share a front door.

Anything else you want to say about your dick?

[He thinks awhile.] Just thank God I have one!

What does your dick like about 18-year-olds?

I don't know what it is about them but they just get me going.

Some people would say that a leather bar is a difficult place to meet younger ones, because it's mostly an older crowd.

Right. I usually go there after going to the teenybopper bar and flirting with my boys.

How old are you now, you dirty old man?

37!

So you hang out at the leather bar because....?

It's a good closing bar and I just have fun there. You can do whatever you want.

Like what?

Like if you go downstairs, you can play around, and I can dance naked and you don't get a hard time about it.

Thank you very much!

You're welcome!

Let me see Bobby's photos.

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