Dick of the week:

Where did I meet Andy? I forget, actually, but I think it was at my very first or second nudist gathering. At the time he was president of New York City's gay male naturist group, Mâles au Naturel (MAN) and did a wicked impression of Barbra at the talent show. I saw photos of him in a NYC gay pride parade, naked except for a beach ball in front of his crotch, and ran into him and some friends at the March on Washington a couple of years later. Eventually he moved away from New York -- and now lives in California.

Let me begin with the first Dick of the Week question, which is: So just how big IS your dick, anyway?

I have no idea. I would say average.

You've never measured it?

No.

How big around is it?

I have no idea [he laughs]. I'm going to be a boring interview, huh? I think everybody measures it a different way and I've never heard the consensus on that.

So when you jerk off, can you get your hand around it?

Yeah.

When you're holding it with one hand, does your thumb touch your index finger?

I don't know. No.

How much overlap?

None.

So do you lose partners who think that you're too thick for them?

Well, I've had some who didn't want me to fuck them because they didn't want to take it. Tight asses.

Which do you prefer: a big dick or a small dick?

I prefer a big one. They just feel better.

Feel better in what way?

More fulfilling. More satisfying. More complete.

Are you implying that it feels better to have it inside your ass?

Yes. A little one is more like a pencil poking.

What's the biggest dick you've ever had sex with?

Very, very big. Let me see. I can't remember his name. He was a porn star in a military movie and I can't remember his name now. I had sex with him when I was 19. He had 11 inches and at least 7 inches around. Huge.

The smallest?

Couldn't tell you. Don't know. I don't go to bed with a measuring tape! I have a sixth sense for picking out well endowed guys, somehow -- even with their clothes on.

How did you meet that porn star?

[Thoughtfully] How did I meet him? I can't remember. Probably in a bathhouse, way back when. God, I'm going to sound like such a slut! Most likely the St. Marks Baths, when I was a freshman at NYU.

Which is easier to keep hard -- a big dick or a small dick?

I think a small dick. (How come?) It requires less blood in the appendage. Or, for some reason maybe statistically guys with smaller dicks tend to have less sex and fewer guys interested in repeat performances, and thus when they DO have sex it's more enjoyable. Maybe guys with bigger dicks tend to get more jaded [and thus have more difficulty getting hard].

What's your favorite way of USING your dick?

One of my favorite things is to wave to people with my dick. In New York I used to go to the end of the Christopher Street pier and I'd wave my dick to the tourists on the Circle Line cruise. Lots of shocked passengers!

How far away would the boat be?

Sometimes maybe 20 or 30 feet. They'd come up pretty close!

Did the captains eventually learn to stay away?

Oh, no, they always came near the piers. I think it may have been a highlight!

Did anyone ever photograph you doing this?

Yes, quite often. Videotapes, too.

From the boat or the pier?

The boat.

I take it that from time to time guys come on to you just because you have a big dick.

I don't think I have a big dick. I think mine's average. Maybe a little thicker than average. I get more comments about my butt!

What's the most annoying way someone comes on to you -- like in a bar or at a party?

With clothing on? All I can think of is a nude party where somebody just yanks. A little guy came over and just pinched it so hard I just yelped! [Sarcastically:] Do I have a little sign over my head which says come over and just torture me? I don't understand that -- it's supposed to be a turn-on.

If someone saw you in a bar, what would be the best line for him to use to get you interested in him?

Oh, boy, I can't even think of one... Just a simple hello and a smile is all it takes if I like someone. Better just to be natural -- yourself.

What would be the worst line?

When someone says "Don't I know you from somewhere?" when it's obvious that they don't. Just kind of silly.

Are you cut or uncut?

Cut.

Which do you prefer in other men? Why?

Uncut. Because it's more interesting orally, I think, and personally, it's more attractive. And for anal sex it's much more comfortable.

How is that?

When I was 19 one of my first lovers was uncut and back then we didn't use condoms. It was just easier -- with more skin to move there was less friction. A beautiful dick he had!

What makes a dick pretty, or good-looking?

Hmmmm! One that looks sort of perky. One that doesn't just hang like it's dead, but one that bounces and... of course length is nice and girth is even better. But one of the reasons I like an uncircumcised dick is that there's no scar, and it's nice when it's all one color skin.

Do you think you have a pretty dick?

Well I think it would be prettier if it was uncircumcised. I have to say it's more perky than most, but I HATE the scar.

Is your father cut or uncut?

Um, I think he's uncut. Yeah, he was born at home -- he's uncut. We never got naked together.

Does he have a big dick?

As a child I saw it once when he was peeing and it looked gigantic, but then from a child's eye it always does.

God knows he's seen pictures of mine! He found Polaroids of me and my boyfriend having sex when I was 16 -- sitting on each other's lap and kissing, sucking. But he's a real prude.

How did he find the pictures?

I think he was looking for marijuana, because he had found marijuana in my sister's room. I didn't do any drugs, but I sure liked to fuck!

How old were you when you discovered that?

15. (What happened?) My best friend in high school. We just started having sex together.

Where'd you get the Polaroid?

It was my friend's camera. He let me keep the pictures in the bottom of my messiest drawer.

Do you still have them?

No, I don't know what happened to them. Dad took them and I never took any more. Never again with him.

When is the next time your dick got onto film?

It would have to be freshman year at NYU. Lots of pictures!

What was the occasion?

Oh, I would meet people who would take pictures. Meet a guy at a bar. Go home, have sex, take pictures.

Do you have any from that time in your life?

Somewhere I have some from my early 20s.

Have you ever danced naked?

Yes, just recently!

Tell me about that.

The Los Angeles nude gay group has been having disco parties in the Valley -- and it's so much fun. You can really let go!

How often?

About once a month they've been trying to do it. And actually I was dancing naked at a party in Sydney just a few days ago. I went to a naturist camp, and in Sydney at a New Year's party I did it. I really enjoy dancing naked when it's not a naked event, like on the USS Intrepid.

Tell me about that.

It was during Gay Pride in 1994, which coincided with the Gay Games in New York. There were a few thousand good men on the USS Intrepid for a party, and go-go boys dancing up on platforms, but when my friend and I took off our shorts and started dancing naked, the go-go boys didn't get much attention! [He chuckles.]

How long did you dance like that?

A good couple of hours. I was with a friend from Australia. It was his first time and he just loved it!

How may guys got naked to dance total?

Only the two of us.

Did you get hassled?

No, not at all. It was very crowded. We were in the middle of a crowd and I don't think anyone in an official capacity could see us.

If they had seen you, what would have happened?

They probably would have told us to get dressed.

Now back to Australia. When did you dance naked there?

That was New Year's Eve.

At a gay party?

Yes.

But not a naturist party.

Right.

Set the scene and tell me about it.

It's what they call a Pride party for New Year's Eve. High Energy dance music with over 10,000 people. There were a couple of us naked.

Again, did the authorities see you?

I don't think so, no. It was one of those relaxed places where anything goes, so they wouldn't have interfered.

You also mentioned a naturist camp?

Yes, in the bush in Australia.

What town?

It's in an area near Mittagong, out in the middle of nowhere.

Is it gay naturist or just naturist?

It's actually a straight place, but they do not discriminate.

You were there alone?

With two gay male friends -- a couple.

What does your dick do when you dance naked?

It flops around. I make it hit the left thigh, then the right thigh, then up and down and all around. By dancing that way it also can become semi-erect, which makes it stick out a bit more so it gets noticed more.

Do you have a name for your dick?

No -- no I don't! [He chuckles.]

Do you know anyone who does?

No, I can't think of one.

Tell me about the time you were naked in the NYC pride march.

Oh, that was probably 1991. We had a convertible, and in the back of the convertible we placed a children's inflatable swimming pool. We filled it with water and I sat in it naked throughout the entire route down Fifth Avenue into the Village, and when we were near the police I would cover my crotch with a beach ball. But most of the time I was just completely exposed!

Do you have photos of that?

Somewhere, yeah!

People tell me there are places where guys sunbathe nude in Central Park.

Yes. The [Xxxx].

Have you been there?

Yes, I love it there.

Tell me about the nudity part.

There's a large rock surrounded by trees and to find it you have to know where you're going. In the afternoon it can be filled with men, most of them naked, lying on the rock, and sometimes it gets a little playful.

Weren't you naked in the March on Washington?

Just about naked. I wore lace shorts which were see-through and that's it. I had a big sign that said "I'd rather be naked," but I didn't want to really risk it in D.C. I like living on the edge, but I don't want to have a [police] record!

What do you like the most about your dick?

Hmmmm... I don't know. That's a tough one! I like the thickness of it.

What do you like the most about having a dick?

I guess being able to fuck.

What do you like the least about your dick?

The circumcision scar.

What do you like the least about having a dick?

When it gets pinched in your pants or something.

Has your dick ever gotten you in trouble?

Well, I was asked to leave a club once. I was naked, and it was when someone started eating my ass up on stage that I was asked to leave. We just got a little too carried away, and a bouncer came over and escorted us out of the building. Oh well!

Were other guys dancing naked?

No. I seem to always be the only one.

Did you manage to recruit anyone for M.A.N. that way? Dancing naked?

Yes, I'm sure. [M.A.N. is Mâles Au Naturel, the gay naked group in New York City.]

What was the best way to recruit someone?

At the pier I would meet a lot of guys who would go there to get naked and who knew nothing about the club. I'd always carry brochures with me at the pier and at Sandy Hook [the nude beach] in New Jersey.

Anything else you'd like to say?

One thing about my dick that I like is that it's a dry dick. Some guys get very excited and have an enormous amount of pre-cum, which can be a little startling if you're not used to it. Mine never does; it's always dry. I always like to use cream or lotion when I jerk off. Guys with a foreskin don't need to lubricate. I'll never forgive my parents!

You said your father was really conservative.

We had to be fully clothed to be at the breakfast table. Not even PJs.

Was he conservative in other ways?

Yes. Conservative politics -- like the Rotary Club.

Do you remember getting naked as a boy?

Yes, I organized my first naked party when I was 10 with my three sisters and kids from the neighborhood.

What did you do at it?

We started out with robes, and on the count of "three" I told everyone to drop their robes, and we did, and we had music, and everything went well until one of my sisters knocked over a candle and almost burned the house down. Even at 10, I liked good lighting! And boy did we get in trouble.

What happened?

Oh, I got grounded. No more naked parties. You know the routine.

How did you recruit kids for this party?

We just told them on the street -- "Come on over, we're having a party." We had soda. And candy.

When did they learn it was a naked party?

We told them it was going to be naked.

The total number?

About ten of us.

How old were your sisters?

One was 11 -- the others 9 and 8.

Now this is going to sound like an aggressive or stupid question, but is this the kind of thing the younger kids would think of as not nice or not fun once they grew up and had a chance to think about it as an adult?

Oh, no, they would think of it as funny.

Did you ever go to somebody else's naked party as a kid?

No, I was the only one having naked parties in New Jersey!

Why do you think that was?

I think I was the only one who was crazy enough, or old enough.

How else were you crazy as a kid?

Climbing really tall trees, and just doing things the other kids wouldn't do.

Such as?

Oh, eating bugs, things like that.

Bugs, not drugs?

[He laughs.] Yeah. That's cute!

Why do you think you had the good sense to stay away from drugs?

Just never had any use for them.

Do you think you could be boyfriends with a non-nudist?

Yes, I have.

Did that cause any problems?

No, we would compromise.

Well, that's it. Thank you very much!

Thank you!

Let me see Andy's photos.

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