Rick's Story

ick calls himself a "starving actor -- for lack of a better word." I met him on the street, after he asked for directions. He then overheard me talking to a friend about my naked dancing project, and he volunteered that he had danced nude in the past. So I signed him up for an interview on the spot.

I got the impression that Rick was just a few steps away from living on the street. At several times during the interview I wondered if he was telling me the truth. I never found an out-and-out lie, so I think he believed everything he told me. Later (see below) I checked out some of his seemingly bizarre statements and found them to be true. What do you think?

Rick was very talkative and frequently ran off on tangents. I tried to let him go wherever he wanted to go, then gently brought him back to the topics I wanted to discuss on this site.

ell me about yourself.

My parents died when I was very young (13 father, 17 mother). I was told "Now you're the man of the house" with regard to my younger brothers and sisters. We were very dysfunctional; but I don't like that word. "Because of circumstances" maybe is a better word.

Right out of high school I couldn't go be an actor/singer, so I took on a job which was really not my forte -- I worked in a purchasing department, I ran the store there.... Someone let me go because they were hired as a supervisor; he would hire someone, train them, learn our expertise, and then let us go. A lot of people became very bitter over it.

ell me about dancing naked.

When I did it, I only did it for the money; I wasn't proud of it. I've been dancing all my life, but nude, partially nude, [that didn't happen until] I was 30, but people thought I was 18 or 19, in the late 1970s to early 80s. I had that flair; I knew how to put on a production on stage, but I wouldn't go too far. I was raped as a child that brought this out in me. I love men to this day, I see it as a gift.

I knew my attributes as a dancer, I knew how to move to the music. But I wouldn't give it all to them. I would dance for hour, off and on -- there would be other actors, impersonators, and so on, in the same show. I got paid $35 a night plus all the tips, plus men and women were buying you drinks.

For private parties I danced totally naked. I worked for a private company here, I forget their name, I would go to clubs, I didn't know the people who were watching me...

here have you danced naked locally?

I performed at the BLOC. I knew I was handsome and had everything going for me, but I loathed myself, and I tried to commit suicide many times just because of my life's experiences. What did people like about your dancing? I'm well endowed, some would refer to me as "Little Big Rick," or the Italian Stallion, I was filling up a hole inside me.

Other nights, me and this guy named Tom, we were gorgeous back then, we'd do whatever the Newsletter told us to do. We'd expose ourselves on the dance floor and touch each other, whatever.

hat's the Newsletter?

I would find cash money in an envelope mailed to me at my home. I found them in a paper, I was desperate for work, if you really want to know the truth. What did the ad say? In essence they were looking for the ultimate fantasy, I guess when I was interviewed, even before I went I knew I'd get the job, because I knew what people were looking for. I've always been a vegetarian, I did it just because I was hiding my pain. What? When I was drunk I would go home with someone who I'd never go home with if I was sober.

o what happened at the interview?

It was very informal, at whatever restaurant in [a ritzy section of town], the upper echelon of society has been drawn to me, I've always had high IQ but low self esteem. We were meeting as strangers, we discussed it, set up our first meeting. I've done this at several bars, not just at BLOC. There were certain things which were suggested as part of the arrangement, but you could always say no [to a specific suggestion]. I was not enough of an exhibitionist to walk through a neighborhood nude, and they were offering me a lot of money to do it. But money doesn't mean all that much to me.

here did the money come from?

It came from the people who were paying the go-between. He had this business, he found the clientele that was looking to be a voyeur. They never touched us [while we were doing our dancing thing], probably they were closeted.

[Asking for a painkiller, he explains] I have diverticulitis, if you know what that is.

It was never totally nude, because of the rules in the clubs. I did it half a dozen to a dozen times. I was paid not what I was worth, but maybe a couple of hundred dollars.

hat would you be wearing?

Levi jeans, tank top or whatever, I always take my shirt off because I like to be unclad as much as possible because of our climate here. There's this guy on the dance floor, as the music is playing a high beat dance tune, me and my partner would be teasing each other and the client [who was watching somewhere]. As we go along, we take our shirts off and begin to dance to the music. I do a lot of gyration, so whoever I'm teasing, I'm actually doing for everyone out there as well as the person out there. So I'm being a ham about it. As I go along, we're getting each other aroused, touching each other inside the jeans without our cocks or penises exposed, I'm barechested and the other guy's got a hairy chest. So we're fondling each other, it's hot, we're sweaty, Tom is well endowed just like me, and we're actually getting off on it ourselves, so we get aroused and people around us are enjoying it themselves.

So it becomes really fun at one point, and of course I was always turned on by Tom anyway, so we would do this on several visits to this place. It became fun for me, and I would go even more sexier with wornout jeans, and I'm a good dresser to begin with, so I dance to the music and I'm actually aroused by the person that is getting the enjoyment from me, because I believe in giving a [good] night's work for whatever I'm being paid.

[After we were done] We'd get other people and offers to go home to bed with other gentlemen, and 9 times out of 10 because I wasn't happy with my life, and because of my codependency... I'd go home with these [other] gentlemen. They were handsome, and the other people in the bar would be jealous. It was a very cruel type feeling -- I knew I had something that some people wanted. I had to be attracted to the other person but then again if I was drunk enough I would sometimes go home with the wrong person because of being intoxicated and my guard being down. I've been with thousands of guys, really. And I don't have HIV, isn't that something? I've been in the medical field so I've always known how to stand back from that. I'm a health care professional, I do hospice care with my patients.

We'd seductively take each other's belt undone, I never wear underwear unless it's a formal occasion or for church, so what would happen is we'd do each other's fly undone. I was turned on by the guy [Tom], I'd have gone home with him if I had the chance. And then of course we'd take each other's dick out or whatever word you want to use -- "orifice" or whatever.

 was so big, that was what got me the jobs. Aroused, I'm probably 10 inches and 2 or 3 inches in diameter. And I'm a health nut so it doesn't take much to get me a hard-on, and someone would just touch me and I'd have an orgasm. That's when the crystal [methamphetamine] came in, it turns on that good feeling in your brain which is triggered by the blood rushing to the pen is, and I'm sure you know where I'm going with that.

ith crystal, what happens?

The only reason I did it is because I love sex, and it would be a couple of nights of ecstasy, you could hold the ejaculation for actually a couple of days, so I was men's pleasure, really. The last time I did crystal was probably about 6 months ago. I'm clean now, and I haven't had any substance abuse, and haven't drunk for 5 months, and haven't done crystal since my last bad experience. I'll never go back to it.

We never would climax on stage; we had class. I never knew what his thing was, but I did it because I needed the money; it's as simple as that. We'd do this off stage, too, in different parts of the bar.

hat was the name of the newsletter?

Orgasms, Incorporated -- I think that's the name of it. (Note: This was not its real name. It's also out of business.)

I've danced in people's bedrooms naked, where they were allowed to touch me, all over two states. Just extra money, I had low self esteem, so I was taking on jobs that were not my lot in life. That's how low self esteem works.

ow did it feel to dance naked?

I actually looked forward to my next... uh, so it was never as a hustler, when I went home with men for sex, it was just for lodging, not for sex.

It was arousal for me, the music would turn me on, whether it would be a Latin song about sex, or a disco tune -- "Pull up to the bumper" by Grace Jones or "Turn the beat around" by Vicki Sue Robinson, I'm that good that I know how to dance to music.

ow did people react around you?

They would be applauding, whistling, Latin shrills like when I sing (demonstrates a trill), and I would bring in lots of money for the bars. So that's that low self esteem again. Whenever I needed it I could go to any bar owner and ask for money and they knew I would be good for it. In Las Vegas I'd date very famous people, really. I loved the nightlife. I'm a burnt-out performer, really -- I'm a workaholic, once I get off work I go socializing with my friends. When I become famous in my field I won't give them the time of day here at [the strip-show bar down the street] because they were so rude to me the other day.

I'm going to put a [male nude] calendar together, it's going to be called "40-something."

I could get any man I wanted, but then that jealousy would kick in. I've gone out with that Marlboro man, you know.

t this point I ended the interview.

Unfortunately, Rick seems to have some kind of mental disorder. As you can see, he rambles and jumps back and forth between topics of unclear relevance. Accordingly I was uncertain which parts of his story to believe.

At first it might seem ridiculous that someone would find wealthy clients who, through an anonymously mailed "Newsletter" would solicit exhibitionistic acts in public for which the performers would be paid by cash sent through the mail. Yet here is another informant confirming this part of Rick's story:

Yes there definitely was something called Orgasms Incorporated. They used to send me letters inviting me to participate or watch or actually be the subject of various fantasies and I remember I went to BLOC -- you know, the bar down on Wintergreen Street -- anyway a bunch of guys would go there and they would dance and take off more and more clothes as the night went on. I remember one time this guy had taken off everything down to his underwear and then a couple of guys came in with scissors and cut off his underwear and he was left there naked. And then he danced for like two seconds or so, and then he streaked out of the place out the back door. That was one of those things where somebody had called me and invited me to go, because they said someone's going to be fulfilling his fantasy tonight at BLOC -- he's going to be stripped naked on the dance floor.

I've got like one souvenir of this fantasy invitation they sent me. I had mentioned some sort of vague fantasy, or something. They sent me the whole letter saying we've talked about it with some of the guys, and they'd be more than willing to make it come true for you. I never really took them up on because it wasn't a fantasy that I really wanted to do.

Was Rick the person he saw that night?

ant to set up something like Orgasms Incorporated in your own town?

I wouldn't recommend it. I've heard that the owner was arrested, and both my informants confirm that it is no longer operating. (BLOC has also been closed for months now.)

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