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GNI 1999
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17 August 2000

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Gods Crush Nudists' Cabin

They say: "Sorry, it was a mistake --
We were aiming at Fundamentalists"

    Reported on the scene and with photos by JIM W.
A true story
(Except for the quotes from the Gods)

Hole in cabin 21 roofTragedy was narrowly averted during a thunderstorm on the Friday night of the recent IMEN gathering in rural Maryland. During dinner an intense storm brought down power lines, caused a 19-hour power outage, felled trees, and broke a huge tree limb which knocked a hole in the roof of one cabin.

With incredible luck, no one was killed -- or even injured -- because almost all the campers were safely in the dining hall. Two campers inside the cabin at the moment of damage got the scare of their lives but suffered no injuries; the falling tree limb smashed only one and a half of the several rooms inside. Occupants of those two rooms were both at dinner.

Geremy near tentsAn even bigger tree limb fell in a different direction, landing neatly between two tents -- narrowly missing both but causing essentially no damage. Neither was occupied at the time (duh! you'd have to be quite dumb to think yourself safe there!), but one was that used by gay naturist extraordinaire Geremy. The other was apparently protected from damage by a small rainbow flag posted at its apex.

"We've been trying to nail those Southern fundamentalists for years," said the Gods in charge of death and destruction. "No one seems to notice that our supposedly 'natural' disasters tend to fall more often in areas of the United States where religious conservatives live." And indeed, there is empirical evidence that a high gay population protects a city from most natural disasters (thanks to some lesbian statisticians for running the numbers on this question).

Pine branch hatIn our exclusive interview, the Divinities continued: "But when we do wreak havoc, we try to protect our own -- and Geremy is about as divine as they come!" It was thought that they did the deed Friday night specifically so that Geremy could improvise a costume in time for Saturday afternoon's cocktail party -- which he did.

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