The NEWDSPAPER OF RECORD for the pen is-consuming community
Extremely strict CODE OF ETHICS
A newspaper is only as valuable as the paper it's printed on, and the Prickstown Pen is-Examiner is no exception. So here at the Examiner -- and on Pen is Central in general -- we are bound by a strict code of journalistic ethics.
In particular, we hold these pen ile truths to be self evident:	That although all pen ises are not created equal, they are... • ...all equal under the law, and • ...all equally worthy of examination and exercise.
That all pen ises are endowed* by their creator with an inherent desire to breathe free, to swing without constriction, to express themselves heartily and openly, and to feel the warming rays of the sun at any hour of the day or night, indoors or outdoors. * Get it?	That by reporting responsibly and in detail upon the actions of various pen ises we are promoting freedom of pleassure -- sometimes termed "freedom of spooge" ** -- and life, liberty, and the pursuit of happenisness. ** Get it? "Freedom of speech" versus "Freedom of spooge"??	That government may make no laws restricting the free exercise of pen ises. Pen ile nutrition and freedom of association are sacrosanct, as recognized under the United Nations charter, and are understood to be basic human rights by civilized people everywhere.	That no good whatsoever can come from lying about the existence of one's pen is, its size, behavior, current tumescence, or other aspects -- unless, of course, lying is necessary to save the life of the person possessing the pen is or others affected, or will help you to get laid.
We also support truth, justice, and the American way! Except in instances where the Canadian or European way is better. Or Asian. Or African. Or even Australian or Antarctican.
SUBSCRIBE	Accordingly... We here at Pen is Central and the Prickstown Pen is-Examiner hereby pledge:		SUBSCRIBE
To conduct our own pen is-hunting and -reporting activities in the nude whenever possible, thus exposing our own pen is to public scrutiny and leveling the invidious distinctions between the clothed and the unclothed.	To provide you, the pen is consumer, with the most interesting, the freshest, the most astonishing pen ises to consume anywhere on the Internet! To conduct all of our affairs cognizant of the responsibility inherent in being the newdspaper of record for the pen is-consuming community -- an awesome trust, taken extremely seriously.		To document the pen ile reactions of our reporters and our interviewees during the course of our reporting, providing the pen is-consuming public with a record of erections, flaccidizations, and other seminal pen ile events establishing the magnitude of this paper's contribution to (hu)mankind.
Thus, to live up to our motto:   A pen is mightier than the sword -- but a pen is is mightier when adored.   -- Peter Shakespeare, Will's brother
	IN PEN ISES WE LUST (our other motto)