Uh oh, now it's Jim's

Castro Street Fair Virtual Reality
"You Were There" (Well, Almost)
Pen is Flashing Page

demonstrating his recently acquired, far-from-state-of-the-art knowledge of

cartooning, .wav files, micropayment systems, and even JavaScript

It doesn't get any better than this!!!

How you, too, can do what I did!

How would YOU like to have the experience I did? Namely, how would you like to walk around naked, ask guys to show you their dicks, and then pay them a dollar when they do?

Now you can, through the magic of Virtual Reality! Because I am a Macintosh owner, I am able to learn the latest virtual reality techniques in just one afternoon's worth of light work. You, dear peons -- uh, I mean, persons -- will be able to experience the wonderful consequences of this lightning-fast skill acquisition right here, right now, as I demonstrate my marvelous virtual reality creation skills on this very web page.

Below, you will discover for yourself what it's like to act like a crazy street person in San Francisco's gayest district -- just as I did in October, 1998. You'll be able to feel what it's like to get all of the guys below to open their pants and show you their pen ises on the streets, in public. Kewl, eh?

Just follow these simple steps:

1. Take off all your clothes except your shoes and socks.
2. Get two large poster boards and attach them by rope at the top.
3. Slip the ropes over your head, just like I did on Castro Street.
4. Walk around your room, shouting "Your dick for a dollar! Show me your dick for a dollar!"
5. When your roommate walks in to see what's up, wave a dollar bill under his nose and ask, "Do you have a dick? Show me your dick and I'll give you a dollar." Just like I did!
   • If you have no roommate, then just hallucinate one.
6. If he drops his pants, take a picture and give him the dollar.
   • If he calls the cops or the loony bin, insist that he must have imagined it all.

That's all there is to it! Of course, there is the possibility that your roommate will withdraw in disgust. In this case, run over to your computer and continue with the steps below.

1. Go back to the hallucinating step. Imagine that you have one of the hunky guys below right there in front of you, on Castro Street.
2. Now look at his crotch. In case you lack imagination, here's a drawing. As you can see, he's wearing blue jeans, and the fly (his zipper) is closed:
4. Loudly and politely, tell him "Show me your dick for a dollar!"
5. Here comes the virtual reality part! It's so exciting!!
6. Just click on the "Play" triangle below the above blue jeans and our virtual volunteer will agree to show you his pen is! [If you have the QuickTime plug-in installed, that is.] And then you'll hear him eagerly unzipping his pants!
7. And then you'll see him show you his dick. Wow!!! Is the World Wide Web wwwonderful or wwwhat?!? If only my drawing skills were better.

Now you have to satisfy your end of the bargain: pay him a dollar.

1. Choose one of the guys below and click on his picture.
   • Although there are 10 pictures, there are only 5 different choices.
   • If you perform this step for each of the five guys below, your total contribution to my pen is research fund will be $5.
2. Pay a dollar using the token system which will appear next.
3. Then you'll be taken to the page showing the photo(s) which you could have taken had you been there with me on Castro Street.

-- OR --

You can subscribe and see ALL of them for free!
If you are a subscriber, just click on the S above any photo.

Isn't VR cool? Doesn't this page alone justify all the hard work you've undertaken to select, purchase, set up, and then use your current personal computer? It took thousands (if not millions) of years for humanity to reach its current pinnacle of evolution -- and here we are, sitting atop that very pinnacle, with our pants down around our ankles. It's downright inspiring.

Excuse me -- snif snif -- I have to pause here for a moment to dab my eyes...

...

Thank you. Thank you. I think I can continue now.

If you agree, please take a moment to write me and tell me how brilliant I am. Also, I'd like to thank my mother, my father, my family, my dear teachers, President Clinton (for setting such a good example in the pants-dropping department), the voting members of the Academy, and most of all, all the guys who let us see their pen ises! Thank you most of all!!

Hey, webmaster dude -- that's my dick. I want my share!

You are on the Castro Street virtual reality (VR) page. Go to page:

Berkeley: B1 B2
Castro: C1 C2 C3 VR
Folsom: F1

Back to Jim's Triple-nude departure page. 

Go back to Pen is Central.

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